You Want To Restrict My Speech?

Fuck you. Fuck your attempts to silence me. Fuck your attempts to legislate what can and cannot be said and how it is to be said. Fuck you for lying about us as you go about slandering people and wishing death upon them. And kamikazeefuck you with a circus midget’s stuntcock for ghoulishly trying to exploit a tragedy to further your goals.

I am still fucking here, will never stay silent, and will only surrender my speech in the molon fucking labe fashion, and no amount of bungefuckery on your end can and will change that. And that must fucking gall you to no end, hence your lashing out today. And that fucking makes me the happiest motherfucker on the fucking planet, watching you act like a three year old because you didn’t initially get the political pop you thought you would.

So fuck you and the horse that fucked you along the way.

Fuck You, Obamacare Supporters!

Fuck you, Joseph Cao.

Javonne Spitz Is A Fat, Ugly, Lying Sack Of Lies

Javonne Spitz was one of the people arrested at the recent Russ Carnahan inspired town halls in St. Louis County that got out of hand and led to six arrests. At the time, she claimed she was just some innocent citizen who had the jackboot heel of fascism descend upon her.

Well, it turns out, to the surprise of anybody with a pulse, that she was lying. This guy has some of the video evidence of her activities leading up to her arrest.

And this one:

Looks to me like this fat tub of shit is trying to start trouble, no?

Fuck you, Javonne Spitz! Fuck you sideways, you lying troublemaker!

Thanks to Treacher.

If You Are A New England Patriots Cheerleader

Watch what you do to your drunk friends.

According to the Boston Herald report about her dismissal, the fact that she and her friends put the word or an image of a penis on their friend at least 14 times wasn’t the problem. However, there were also swastikas drawn on his chin and upper back.

If You Are A Football Player Who Doesn’t ike Cheerleaders

You must play for the Steelers.

“I’m not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they’re really good at home and they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good,” Roethlisberger said yesterday.

The practice by the Redskins cheerleaders was so legendary around the league that when commissioner Roger Goodell sent out a memo to all teams last year banning the practice some dubbed the “Redskins Rule.”

“It can be [distracting], let’s be truthful. They’ve done it before. I’ve heard a rumor that they’re not allowed to do it anymore.”

If You Want To Demonstrate Gun Safety

Don’t be like this guy.

The incident took place in the C-Block of Kabir Nagar near Maujpur in northeast Delhi. While going out for dinner on Thursday night, the victim, Kulbushan Tyagi, asked his wife Sangeeta (42) to hand him over his firearm. But when his wife and son objected to it, he tried to argue that there was nothing scary about a firearm. “Accordingly, he opened the magazine, took out the bullets and locked the firearm. He then pointed the gun at his wife and threatened to shoot her. Satisfied that he had sufficiently scared her, he then trained the gun on his son. He then suddenly placed the firearm near his eardrum and pulled the trigger, unaware that a bullet was still inside. He died instantly,” said a senior police officer.

The police, though, are not ruling out other possibilities as yet. “We are investigating whether the man was under debt or had any provocation to commit suicide. We have already recorded the initial statement of his wife in this regard,” said an investigating officer.

According to family members and neighbours of the deceased who did not wish to be named, Tyagi had been living in the area for the past 10 years. “A few days back, Tyagi had promised to take his two children, 15-year-old Reshmi and 12-year-old Rahul (names changed), out for a dinner once he could find some time for the outing from his busy schedule.”

Meanwhile, tension spread in the area after a section of the media reported that the son had allegedly shot at the father. Locals attacked television crew before the elderly brought the situation under control.

If You Are A Drunk Guy From Georgia In New York

Try not to bribe the cops with Jets tickets.

After they hauled him in, Henderson promised the police officers two seasons’ worth of Gang Green tickets, the source said.

Not only was he arrested for operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated, he was also charged with bribery. His second offer was caught on tape, the source said.

Cops noticed the Cartersville, Ga., man going west on West 44th Street in his 2009 Chevy Suburban just before 4 a.m. yesterday.

He allegedly made an “unsafe and aggressive” left turn onto Eighth Avenue and was pulled over.

He scraped the side of a cab while making the turn, prosecutors said.

Henderson’s blood-alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit, the source said.

Henderson, who was released without bail, told The Post he could get Jet tickets because he has a relative on the team, but he wouldn’t say whom.

“I’m just going to get the hell out of New York now,” he said as he left court.

Jet season tickets currently range from $75 a game to $425. However, the cost will skyrocket to as high as $700 a game in the team’s new stadium, set to open in 2010.

Who Knew Soccer In Zimbabwe Was So Interesting?

Well, it is when you add SEX to the story.

[CEO of Zimbabwe Soccer Henrietta]Rushwaya and the player have left the senior team in a state of shock. When he comes home especially on a siesta from his overseas club, he camps at Rushwaya’s residence where they live literary like husband and wife…
Nice.

Diving a little bit deeper into the article, one can find this gem as well:

Rushwaya herself is known for being generous with her body and numerous scribes have had a go. She is a very kind boss whose generosity has won her friends especially in the media as most of her scandals are deliberately swept under the carpet
According to an anonymous source. Nice reporting standards there, Zimbabwe media.

Finally, there is one more piece of information that just cannot be ignored. It seems that Rushwaya trysts take place in one of Harare’s swankiest hotels, a Holiday Inn. Now, I’m no tastemaker when it comes to which hotels to use for sex, but I’ve always been more of a Red Roof Inn man myself. Perhaps Ms. Rushwaya is just reaching a little too high in expecting the front desk manager at a Holiday Inn to keep her secrets for her.

If You Are Really Lazy

Just hope your son doesn’t nominate you for an “award”.

Now he’s won the title of being the region’s Great North Bum.

Mr Pyle, of Fenham, Newcastle, was nominated for the competition by his 18-year-old son Karl.

“My dad is the laziest person I know. When he gets in from work he has a bath and goes straight to bed. He just lies there and watches the TV,” said Karl.

“He even shouts down the stairs for us to go up and turn the channel over for him. But even we couldn’t believe it when he came up with the idea to take Bruce for a walk like that.

“Dad goes to work at around 4.30am to 5am and he gets me up so I can drive around the block while he holds Bruce’s (the dog) lead. He is so lazy and deserves the title.”

Karl heard the competition to find the Great North Bum on Century Radio and nominated his dad without hesitation.

Competition bosses say he won by a landslide.

If You Are Upset That Tommy Bowden Was Fired By Clemson

This guy has you beat: