Fuck You, RINOS!

Fuck you!

Today’s Dose Of Enviro-FAIL

Fuck you, Prius owners.

If You Plan To Donate A Pair Of Pants To Charity

Make sure you clean out your pockets first.

“It was shocking,” said Rene Adams, spokeswoman for the Junior League of Daytona Beach, which runs the store. The man, whose name employees do not know, goes to the store regularly. He dropped off several plastic grocery bags of clothes a few days ago. When a store employee went through them one day this week, she found the money. The store contacted police, who locked it up and put out a call Friday, hoping to identify the donor. Police did not answer questions Friday about the case, and Adams was cautious about saying too much, worried that people with no connection might use the details to make a claim.

Uh-oh! The Cowboys And Yankees Have Teamed Up!

Is this the end times? The Dallas Cowboys and New York Yankees have joined in a business venture

Courtesy Business Wire

Legends will manage regular concessions, suite catering and team stores at the new Yankees and Cowboys stadiums, which are set to open next year at a cost of more than $1 billion each. Legends also will pursue accounts in the major leagues, college sports and abroad, the sources said.

The first-of-its-kind initiative between two of pro sports’ star teams is the idea of Gerry Cardinale, the Goldman managing director who helped create the Yankees’ regional sports channel, the YES Network, and brokered the return of Alex Rodriguez to the team last year.

If You Want A Reason Why You Need To Keep Ex-Flings Away From Your Wedding

Use this story as an example.

Hillsborough County deputies say Lisa Coker showed up with the unusual wedding gifts at the weekend reception hosted by mother of the groom Gail Hosey. They say Hosey refused to let Coker into the home where the reception was being held.

Coker attacked with a crowbar, but Hosey disarmed her. Then came some hair pulling and eventually, cops say, Coker pulled a razor blade and slashed Hosey on the arm.

Deputies finally arrived to restore order. Coker was charged with aggravated battery and taken to jail.

World’s. Worst. Criminal. For. Today.

L:ook lady, if you want to use your mini-van as a weapon, do better than this.

Deputies were called to the home on Mallie Davis Road around 2 p.m., because of a fight between a husband and wife.

When officers arrested the husband, they had planned on taking the wife, 63-year-old Mary Davis, into custody as well.

She had different plans.

Deputies say that she jumped into her mini-van and left the drivers door open, when she tried to back out of her driveway she hit a parked lawn mower.

But, that was after deputies say she tried to strike one of them with her car.

The deputy reacted and jumped out of the way.

After the collision, Davis fell out and the mini-van spun out of control.

As the van made a circle, Davis was run over.

She was flown to Shands with critical injuries.

Ironically, the mini-van went in circles until it hit the deputy’s patrol car that she had tried to run over earlier.

If You Plan On Building A Beer Serving Robot

At least make sure it works.

The robot is touring venues across the country and rolled up outside Asda’s Head Office in Leeds yesterday.

But there was a little hiccup when the automaton’s electrics failed, meaning he was unable to use his hydraulic arms to serve his usual ice-cold alcoholic beverages as draught pints, half pints and bottles of beer.

Technical manager Martin Leppard told the YEP: “He was in storage in Brighton before we brought him up to Leeds and working perfectly well when we put him in the van.

“Whatever has happened has done so in transit.

“We’ve got to get him repaired as we’re in Wakefield’s Asda today from 10am to 4.30pm and then Oracle bar in Leeds from 7pm for a Japanese-themed party, including a karaoke competition, which everyone is invited to.

“Then we’re at Asda in Pudsey tomorrow from 10am till 4pm, so hopefully you’ll be able to see Mr Asahi in action.”

If You Plan On Hiding Some Money

At least tell your wife where it is.

About a week later, when her husband, Fred Holmes, asked her what had happened to the DVD of “Sin City,” she suddenly felt sick.

Her husband had been secretly saving up money, at least $1,200 so far, for a Christmas family trip to Disney World in Florida for the couple and their three children, Nick, 11, Trevor, 7, and Isabella, 2

If You Want To Pleasure Yourself Outside Of A Nudie Bar

Be prepared for jail time.

“Evidently, someone got really excited after watching their show,” Kooistra said. “There were people standing around watching him and laughing.”

Barry Vincent Zephier, 44, has been charged with indecent exposure, Kooistra said.

If You Want To meet The World’s Worst Bandit

This guy might be at the top of your list.

The suspect walked into the restaurant about 12:45 a.m. dressed in a pink jogging suit top and black pants while wearing a black wig with blonde streaks, the report said. He was carrying a brown purse and wearing sunglasses.

An employee behind the counter, who is not being identified by The Times-Picayune, said Monday she could tell immediately that the robber was a man.

“It was kind of weird,” she said when reached by telephone.

The robber approached the counter and ordered two doughnuts. The robber opened his purse and handed the worker a $5 bill, the report said. As the employee opened the cash register, the robber pulled a handgun from the purse and mumbled something she couldn’t understand, the report said. The employee started screaming for someone to call 911.

“I guess I kind of panicked,” she said. “I hit the floor.”

The robber fled without trying to take any money from the register. He got away, but he left behind the $5 as well as the doughnuts, according to the report. The case is under investigation, according to Col. John Fortunato, spokesman for the Sheriff’s Office.