Fuck You, Code Pink!

Fuck you! Fuck You! Fuck You!

Houston Tea Party Has Boner Inducing Levels Of Awesome

Fuck yeah! You fucking assfisters better fucking hear us now! We are coming for you.

Today’s Dose Of Enviro-FAIL

Fuck you, Prius owners.

Fuck You, Peggy Noonan

Seriously, FUCK YOU!

If You Choose Drinking Over Jury Duty

Just hope it isn’t for a drunk driving case.

Lemons received a summons to appear as a prospective juror in the case. When he didn’t show up on Monday, a bailiff called his house. Lemons told the bailiff he was too busy to come to court.

Associate Circuit Judge Scott Thomsen instructed officers to bring Lemons to the courthouse. Deputies say they detected a strong odor of alcohol on him. Lemons was held in custody while the DWI trial went on.

Authorities say Lemons told the judge he had been drinking rum in the morning. Thomsen found Lemons in contempt of court and fined him $250.

Sometimes, Being Late Is A Good Thing

Just ask this guy, who missed the Pan Am flight that was bombed over Lockerbie, Scotland because he was drinking at an airport bar.

A thoroughly dejected Jaswant drifted away and prepared to spend a fitful night on a row of seats in the departure lounge. He felt unable to call home and face the music.

After a couple of dozy hours, things went from bad to worse. Across the hall Jaswant saw two policemen walking purposefully towards him. “Are you the passenger who missed the Pan Am flight?”

Confused, he was bundled away. The police station at Heathrow airport is not a friendly place if you’re just suspected of having caused Britain’s worst terrorist attack.

—

For although Jaswant wasn’t aware of it, 38 minutes after take off, Pan Am flight 103 had blown up over the Scottish borders town of Lockerbie killing all 259 passengers and crew on board and 11 people on the ground.

If You Plan On Throwing An Alcohol-Free Party

Make sure the alcohol stays away.

The social was the initiative of Jack Rapatsa, mayor of the Delmas municipality.

According to Councillor Barry Chamberlain of the DA, liquor flowed freely at the party.

Town residents are upset about the bad planning, allegations of unapproved expenses and unruly behaviour by hundreds of drunken partygoers.

Garbage and hundreds of broken bottles were left lying on the rugby field, contributing to tension in the town.

The Telkom Charity Spectacular soccer championship was shown on a large-screen TV during the event, which was held on August 2.

In the official invitation, Rapatsa says the target market was mainly the youth of Delmas’s Botleng residential area.

“We want to get the youth off the street and stop alcohol and drug abuse,” said the invitation.

Yup. That’ll work.

If You Try To Sneak A Dwarf Through Airline Security

Expect bad things to happen.

Employees at Bromma airport called police when the dwarf hopped out of the suitcase at the check-in counter.

Police soon found that it was a stunt being filmed by a hidden camera for a program on private TV network Kanal 5.

Police spokesman Mats Eriksson says airport staff decided against filing charges even though they were “shocked and humiliated” by Wednesday’s stunt.

Kanal 5 spokesman Dan Panas told Swedish news agency TT that the show was meant to be “provocative and entertaining.”

If You Want To Know Which Country Is The World’s Largest Arms Exporter

Hint: It’s not the United States.

“As demonstrated by this outstanding export performance, the UK has a first-class defence industry, with some of the world’s most technologically sophisticated companies,” Digby Jones, the Minister for Trade and Investment, said.

UKTI said that the figures were boosted by orders for Eurofighter Typhoon jets from Saudi Arabia, the world’s biggest arms buyer, which has imported $31 billion (£16 million) in weapons over the past five years. There were also orders from Oman and Trinidad and Tobago for offshore patrol vessels.

If You Were Wondering If Cheeta The Chimp Has A Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame

Not yet. But efforts are underway to correct that injustice.

Each June, the Walk of Fame Committee picks from hundreds of nominations a list of inductees for the next year.

Cheeta’s “inclusion on the Hollywood Walk of Fame will not only give recognition to one of the international, animal megastars of all time, but focus attention on his fellow primates in the wilds of Africa who now face extinction,” the petition reads.

The petition notes that Cheeta’s canine colleagues Lassie, and 1920s stars Rin Tin Tin and Strongheart are immortalized on the boulevard, along with fictional animals Kermit the Frog, Godzilla and Donald Duck.

“He’s up against really big celebrities,” Ana Martinez-Holler, a spokeswoman for the Chamber of Commerce said.

This year, Cheeta will be considered along with some 200 entertainers. The chamber usually chooses about 24 a year.