Larry King Singing?

Larry King singing!

Fuck You, Ed Begley, Jr.

Fuck you, you stupid hippie dickbag.

Fuck You, RINOS!

Fuck you!

If You Want To Paint Your House Strange Colors

This guy may be your mentor.

If You Are Worried That Construction Workers May Look In On You

This story won’t help.

Kristen O’Konski is not the only person complaining about the apartment complex. Eyewitness News heard from a few tenants who said construction is making living conditions on the inside unbearable.

Management told Eyewitness News it’s doing nothing wrong, but others insist they’re being forced to pay for units in which they can no longer live.

“They busted through when I was undressed, getting ready to get in the shower. The wall came through,” O’Konski said. “The workers were all right there. You could see a great deal of stuff.”

Neighbors said O’Konski is not the only one who’s been exposed by construction to replace rotting walls in their building.

“And I woke up to banging and I turned over and my window in my bedroom was being removed and the guys were probably two feet from my bed. So I could literally touch them,” said resident Alyssa Mosca.

Off camera, the apartment manager insisted she warned tenants about construction and the possibility there might be some “uncomfortable conditions.” But O’Konski said cracked walls, even mold in her roommate’s closet, have forced them both to stay somewhere else while she tries to get out of her lease and get her money back.

“I felt violated. A stranger, a worker, has seen me naked and you’re telling me ‘uncomfortable living situations?’ I can’t even get undressed in my own home,” she said.

If You Plan On Vandalizing A Yard In Missouri

Just hope it isn’t this yard.

Around noon, when Long picked up her phone to answer a return call, she was closer to making good on that threat.

“I found me an electric fence, and they told me, ‘You’re going to have to have that pole in the ground 6 foot,’ ” she said. “I told them if I had to stand out in the yard and peck all night, I’ll do it.”

At 5-foot-1, Long is hardly the picture of brute force, but the 66-year-old is determined to catch – or zap – the perpetrators. Her husband, Carl, a former city alderman, apparently has his own plans: “My husband is very upset. They might have a little BB stinging them in their rear,” Lena said.

Ashland Police Chief Scott Robbins thinks the culprits are local high school kids “just out messing around.” Although he doubts there are political motives behind the tomfoolery, Long begs to differ.

“They’re getting on the wrong nerve now,” she said. “I think it’s terrible that something like this is going on. They don’t bother the Obama signs. They want to keep a clean campaign, but this is terrible.”

She’s sure there is more than one sign bandit. All four McCain/Palin signs on her lawn, in three different locations at Cottonwood Street and Route M, were heisted.

Long refers to the spot as “campaign corner” where signs touting the candidacies of Ed Robb, Peter Kinder, Kenny Hulshof, Kurt Schaefer and other Republicans were untouched.

If You Find A Landmine In Your Backyard

Let your local police take care of it.

After finding the land mine, police said, the residents carried it from the backyard to the driveway before calling for help.

The concern was that the device could explode.

Police alerted the neighbors to what was happening. Bomb squad officers were called and determined the object was safe.

Parakeet Vs. English Windmill: Who Ya Got?

Sadly, the parakeets may be winning.

He added: ‘We wave our arms and shout at them but the parakeets are just too high up and they carry on gnawing and chipping away at the wood. They’re pests and are destroying our glorious windmill.

‘It is getting towards a point when the windmill may be deemed a danger to the public.’

In July, parakeets caused £10,000 of damage to the spire at the 1836 St John’s Church in Croydon.

A church spokesman said at the time: ‘They love the shingles and have pulled out at least 100 of them. Maybe they’re looking for insects. Now we’re at a complete loss.’

If You Feel Compelled To Crawl Under Your Mobile Home

Just make sure it’s secure.

Authorities said the victim was working with a friend or relative to reposition the mobile home on concrete blocks, but it was not secured. Some of the blocks buckled, the home shifted and fell on the victim’s chest and shoulder.

The victim was planning to live in the mobile home with his girlfriend, right behind his mother’s home.

Drunken Stupidity+Farm Combine=Arrest Goodness

And what a shock it was in Minnesota.

Dominic Andrew Bjerke, of Leroy, Minnesota, has been charged with first offense operating while intoxicated, third-degree burglary, third-degree theft and criminal mischief as a Class C felony.

According to the Mitchell County Sheriff’s Office, deputies were dispatched to a residence south of McIntire around 2:30 a.m. on Sunday after receiving a complaint that a combine had driven through several yards, striking numerous vehicles and a garage.

Deputies say they found the combine down the road and identified Bjerke as the driver.