You Want To Restrict My Speech?

Fuck you. Fuck your attempts to silence me. Fuck your attempts to legislate what can and cannot be said and how it is to be said. Fuck you for lying about us as you go about slandering people and wishing death upon them. And kamikazeefuck you with a circus midget’s stuntcock for ghoulishly trying to exploit a tragedy to further your goals.

I am still fucking here, will never stay silent, and will only surrender my speech in the molon fucking labe fashion, and no amount of bungefuckery on your end can and will change that. And that must fucking gall you to no end, hence your lashing out today. And that fucking makes me the happiest motherfucker on the fucking planet, watching you act like a three year old because you didn’t initially get the political pop you thought you would.

So fuck you and the horse that fucked you along the way.

Fuck Civility!

Really?

Well, fuck civility. First chair fuck it from the woodwind section in the middle of a command performance of Toccata and Fuck. Fuck those who try to tell us, after years of slander, beatings, lies, and false accusations from the left, we need to fucking be nice now that they have lost. Fuck the belief that being nice while the other side refuses to hold back will work. And lawnfuck on a frozen day with a snow shovel anybody who dares lecture us about civility after the shit thrown at us for years by those now begging us to play nice.

You know who fucking wants to be civil? Fucking losers, that’s who. Those weak willed, goatsegramming, assjiggling, snails up their widened asses, that’s who. Those people who blanche at the sight of people demanding their voices be heard, that’s who. And those fuckfurters with relish who want to tell us everything will be all fucky-dory, so long as we fucking let them tell us how to act and live. And these are the people who wind up sliding us into statism, so fuck them forever with used toilet paper after I had a batch of macho Nachos.

When I read about the desires of many on the left to have us become a regulated, state-run society, I look in on the two most precious things I know as they sleep. One of those is the daughter of mine who is a gift from above and made in the image of all that is perfect, who has the potential to shape history, so long as she has the opportunity to do so, and is what G-d above meant when he was pleased with his handiwork. The other is the one I abandoned all others for, the one for whom I still crave every night as if it were two nights before our wedding (heh!), who I promised to always be my happily ever after, and who bore my children who died before birth, who live, and who are yet to come. As I watch over them, do you flaccid fuckmuscles stuck in the fuckzipper of fuckheadedness really believe I will accommodate and yield anything to those who wish to harm them? Well, rockfuck you with an algae fucked fucktwig if you think so.

No, I will not yield to those who seek to destroy those I value more than my life itself. I will not yield an inch to those who wish to control and regulate my family’s life. I will not yield an inch to those who wish death upon me for my views. I will not yield until they are driven from the plains forever. And “civility” to those who wish to destroy everything around me is merely the first step. So fuck your false calls for civility. Fuck your sham moderation. Fuck your calls for me to be anything less than vigilant against your schemes. And amoebafuck you until you dehydrate for trying to push this shit upon us.

Larry King Singing?

Larry King singing!

Fuck You, Ed Begley, Jr.

Fuck you, you stupid hippie dickbag.

If You Want To Wear A Cow Or A Horse Costume

Just try not to get into a fight.

Northern Constabulary said at one stage the fight spilled on to the A96 road and disrupted the flow of traffic.

One man was detained in hospital overnight following the incident, which happened early on Saturday morning.

Straw hat

Police said: “Two of the men were in fancy dress outfits.

“One was dressed as a cow wearing a brown hat and the other as a horse wearing a straw hat. Both of these men are described as stocky/heavily built.

“As a result of this incident, one man was conveyed to Raigmore Hospital where he was detained overnight. His injuries are not life-threatening.”

If You Plan On Running Down The Street In Nothing But Your Underwear And A Bike Helmet

Why not go for the Gold Medal of Crazy?

Supt Hopkins said although the parade sounded amusing and probably looked the same way, it was incredibly dangerous at the time.

“He was running close to one of our main roads, where the big road trains travel,” Supt Hopkins said.

“It could have been quite tragic.”

Supt Hopkins said the man had not offered an explanation as to why he had attached the fire crackers to his head.

The 22-year-old Mt Isa man was charged with being a public nuisance and having possession of fireworks.

Cutting Torch+Excess Fuel Laying Around=Bad News

Especially for these Canadian guys.

Regional Police tell 570 News two men were trying to remove a rusty bolt on a gas tank with a cutting torch when fuel underneath the vehicle ignited. A bucket of fuel nearby was also set on fire.
It took crews 15 minutes to get the blaze under control. One man suffered minor burns while the other has second degree burns to his forehead, cheeks and arms.

Indonesian Man Gets Cow Pregnant, Then The Fun Begins

And if by “fun”, you mean the locals drowning the cow, then it was a real knee-slapper.

The cow, which is five months pregnant, was thrown out to the sea about 3 kilometers from land Monday. The villagers believe the animal was impregnated by a village elder.

During the ritual the man, who was caught red-handed having sexual intercourse with the cow two months ago, joined the boat trip in order to throw away his clothes to to symbolize him discarding his sins.

Julah customary village head Ketut Sidemen said the ritual, called gamya gamana, or freak weeding, and had been conducted there for generations. The decision to perform the ritual was made a local residents meeting.

In line with customary regulations, the perpetrator, identified only as PS, 70, was sanctioned to fund the expensive ceremony, which aimed to cleanse him of any bad influences.

Luh Ketut Suryani, a professor and activist, deplored the sancation against PS.

She said drowning a cow was baseless because sexual intercourse between a human being and am animal could not cause pregnancy due to the different chromosomes and genes of the two.

“The cow is not guilty, why shoud it be drowned? Why don’t just use a symbol like what was done by the perpetrator?” she said.

If You Want To Demonstrate Gun Safety

Don’t be like this guy.

The incident took place in the C-Block of Kabir Nagar near Maujpur in northeast Delhi. While going out for dinner on Thursday night, the victim, Kulbushan Tyagi, asked his wife Sangeeta (42) to hand him over his firearm. But when his wife and son objected to it, he tried to argue that there was nothing scary about a firearm. “Accordingly, he opened the magazine, took out the bullets and locked the firearm. He then pointed the gun at his wife and threatened to shoot her. Satisfied that he had sufficiently scared her, he then trained the gun on his son. He then suddenly placed the firearm near his eardrum and pulled the trigger, unaware that a bullet was still inside. He died instantly,” said a senior police officer.

The police, though, are not ruling out other possibilities as yet. “We are investigating whether the man was under debt or had any provocation to commit suicide. We have already recorded the initial statement of his wife in this regard,” said an investigating officer.

According to family members and neighbours of the deceased who did not wish to be named, Tyagi had been living in the area for the past 10 years. “A few days back, Tyagi had promised to take his two children, 15-year-old Reshmi and 12-year-old Rahul (names changed), out for a dinner once he could find some time for the outing from his busy schedule.”

Meanwhile, tension spread in the area after a section of the media reported that the son had allegedly shot at the father. Locals attacked television crew before the elderly brought the situation under control.

If You Want To Know If Drinkers Are Happy

Just check out this survey.

The index, based on a survey of 2000 Australians in April, found that those who drink up to three drinks a day are far happier than those who never drink.

And the wellbeing of 18- to 25-year-olds – the key binge drinking demographic – remains high regardless of how many drinks they have.

The findings highlight some of the challenges facing public health officials in promoting safe drinking levels and curbing the burgeoning binge-drink culture.

They are also in stark contrast to the findings of research released by the Salvation Army this week, which found one in four Australians say alcohol has had a negative impact on them or their family.

Australian Unity Health group executive Amanda Hagan said the link between alcohol consumption and the wellbeing of 18- to 25-year-olds was particularly concerning.

“This is potentially troublesome for policymakers in their struggle with binge drinking,” she said.

“It demonstrates the need to focus on the health and safety implications of binge drinking because this age group is not feeling an adverse impact on their wellbeing.”