Fuck depressing shit. Dedrofuck it with a rotten tree branch until a sapling sprouts out of your goatse. I never want to be around sad people. I want to be around fucking winners. Yeah, sometimes it feels as though life has you stuck in the bottom of a port a potty after a chili eating contest, but don’t ever fucking give in to the sadness. Tell it to get fucked, for you vow to defeat it with awesomeness.
And, my friends, this is awesomeness to absolute zero and back.
Normally, something this idiotic would not even warrant a mention, especially as it comes from Karen Tumulty, one of the Beltway Intelligentsia. I was going to ignore it until I saw this today, in light of World AIDS Day.
Yeah, guess what country has given the most money and help to fight AIDS in Africa. Hell, even uber douchebag Bono can see the writing on the wall:
“Even people who are snide and snarky about the United States of America have to admit that millions and millions of lives have been saved by American taxpayers,” Bono told Fox News’ Bret Baier during an interview with the lead singer and the former president taped at {former President George W}Bush’s Dallas, Texas, office.
That’s fucking right. No fucking other country on the fucking face of the fucking earth would fucking donate zillions of dollars to fight a scourge such as AIDS on a continent far away and not blink an eye. Put aside any social commentary about AIDS, and what you see in the fight that Bono and the U.S. have started shows our fucking exceptionalism. What you see is the willingness for a free people to expend money to help people far away, and not utter a peep. And what you fucking see is how generous the American people are. And this shit Tumulty pushed really fucking pissed me off.
Yes, Karen Tumulty, America is an exceptional place. America is the only country that can and will lead to preserve life, liberty, and the fucking pursuit of happiness around the globe. Only America will be willing to save zillions of people around the fucking globe to fight anything that threatens said goals listed above. And only America, that Shining City on a Hill, will do whatever can be done to make sure that people in other parts of the fucking world that we will never see might have a fucking chance to live, and utter nary a significant peep in protest. And what is truly pathetic is how you fail to see what good arises from us saving the world.
So fuck your snark, Karen Tumulty. Fuck your inability to see how a free nation is indeed exceptional, as contrasted to the dictatorships that have done jack fucking shit to help out Africa. Fuck your cocktail circuit for thinking along your lines. And furyfuck with the flying fuckeagle of freedom’s claws anybody who agrees with your decree that America is not exceptional. Why don’t you fucking live in an oppressed state, just so you can fucking see what it’s like to have no fucking chances and report back to us?
So get fucked, Tumulty, and go and see how exceptional we are from the outside.
Posted in Blogroll, Business, cars, Crazy old people, Current Events, Disgusting, Irony, Jerks, News you can use, Politics
Well, sort of.
The serious stuff will still be at DPUD and IB. But the random silliness I bring to the fore can be found on my twitter page.
Now, get the hell off my lawn!
Posted in Blogroll
You might want to get them some professional help.
“She said her daughter was the daughter of Satan,” he said.
The girl told police her mother also tried to choke her with her hands, bit her finger and grabbed her breast as though she were trying to tear it off, O’Connell said.
“The daughter managed to defend herself by hitting her mother over the head with a vase,” he said.
Both the mother and daughter were treated at Boston hospitals, O’Connell said.
Casanova was arraigned Thursday after her release from the hospital and returned to court yesterday so that a hearing could be scheduled to determine whether she is dangerous enough to be held without bail, pending her trial. But that hearing was never scheduled because of her outburst, O’Connell said. She is due back in court Nov. 12.
Posted in Blogroll, Clowns, Crazy, Crazy old people, Crime, Current Events
Mr. 100% Cheese Free has you beat.
Quoth Don:
Evidently the Viking fan in question is Syd Davy, aka 100% Cheese Free, and the man is probably the biggest NFL fanatic I have ever seen. This is a guy who drives 7+ hours to get to every home game, from Canada!
It turns out the 100% Cheese Free is a huge fan of Randy Moss, and Moss would routinely jump into the arms of Cheese Free after scoring a touchdown in Minnesota. Well, in case you missed it the two had a heart warming reunion last night at Gillette Stadium. People were balling their eyes out like Lassie had finally come home to Timmy after being lost in the woods for two days. Well not really.
But wait, there’s a little bit more to the legend of 100% Cheese Free. Check out his tattoos. That’s one tattoo for every stadium that he has pulled Randy into the stands after a touchdown. That my friends is commitment.
Posted in Awesome, Blogroll, drunken idiocy, Dumb foreigners, funny, Sports
A league source tells us that the talk among the Browns is that tight end Kellen Winslow landed in the Cleveland Clinic because his balls swelled to the size of grapefruits.
(We think that technical term is testiculus coconutus.)
Actually, one explanation for the situation is a condition known as hyrdocele. And while the condition in itself isn’t serious, it could be a symptom of testicular cancer.
Posted in Awesome, Blogroll, Current Events, Disgusting, Duh!, funny, Life, Medical Nightmare, scary, Sports
Posted in Awesome, Blogroll, drunken idiocy, Duh!, Sports
Especially when booking talent for Prince Harry’s birthday party.
The generously-eared royal met the gothic flasher at the toff-infested Cartier International Polo Tournament at the Guards Club in Windsor, London.
Charmed by her alabaster assets, he asked what she did for a living and Dita, 35, replied: “I’m a dancer.”
This vague job description failed to convey that her act involves giving a rhythmic biology lesson in a giant martini glass and doing the sort of things to a massive olive which are illegal in most countries.
Perhaps buoyed by the sun and Pimms and presuming her performance involved a cheeky Charleston, Chazza invited her to perform at Prince Harry’s 24th birthday.
Our man said: “Poor Charles was so embarrassed when he realised what he’d done. He genuinely had no idea about her raunchy stage act.
“She was stunned when he suggested the idea, explaining that his son loved a good dance.
“But he gnawed his fist to within an inch of its knuckle when his aides explained what sort of dancing she did for a living.”
We’re sure Prince Harry will forgive his old man when the burlesque performer toasts his big day with a giant glass of champagne garnished with her own breasties.
Talking of Harrys, Harry Potter star Emma Watson, 18, was at the posh party.
The saucy beggar spent the evening with her head cocked to one side while Prince William lookalike Francis Boulle poured oily words of seduction into her ear.
Later that night, young Francis entertained Emma by making unsavoury human organs from the balloons in the Chinawhite Tent.
