Hey! WHo Wants To See A Creepy Clown Video?

Dear Terrorists

Fuck you. I’m still here.

Fuck You, RINOS!

Fuck you!

If You Want To Wear A Cow Or A Horse Costume

Just try not to get into a fight.

Northern Constabulary said at one stage the fight spilled on to the A96 road and disrupted the flow of traffic.

One man was detained in hospital overnight following the incident, which happened early on Saturday morning.

Straw hat

Police said: “Two of the men were in fancy dress outfits.

“One was dressed as a cow wearing a brown hat and the other as a horse wearing a straw hat. Both of these men are described as stocky/heavily built.

“As a result of this incident, one man was conveyed to Raigmore Hospital where he was detained overnight. His injuries are not life-threatening.”

If See Some Missing Pigs

Try not to eat them.

Residents who find the pigs should contact the county Office of Emergency Services, Chapman said after Tuesday’s meeting.

But if they don’t do that, they should wait at least 30 days or make sure the pigs are tested for antibiotics and other drugs before they are slaughtered, he said.

The company that owns the pigs contacted OES about the possible health risk, Chapman said. He did not know exactly what drugs the pigs had been given.

“If they’ve been dosed recently, there could be a health risk,” he said. “We were just told by the company that they had been medicated.”

During long hauls, animals are usually given large doses of penicillin or other antibiotics, such as Terramycin, to ward off shipping fever and other sickness, Chapman said.

The pigs in question were being hauled from North Carolina to Iowa when the tractor-trailer ran off W.Va. 34 on Oct. 15.

About 13 pigs were loose following the accident, Chapman said. County authorities were able to round up all but five, he said.

If You Throw A Birthday Party For A Pit Bull

Just try to top this.

Sea Otter+Kayak=Awesome

If You Plan On Eating Out Tonight

Just make sure no deer are being butchered in the kitchen.

Officials don’t know whether the dead deer at China King, 5999 South Park Ave., had been hunted or if it was road kill.

“From our standpoint, it doesn’t matter,” said Health Commissioner Dr. Anthony J. Billittier IV. “They can’t do what we think they did.”

Billittier said that there is no reason to believe that the deer meat made its way into any of the dishes served at China King.

“I don’t think they were far enough along,” Billittier said. “They were in the butchering process. They didn’t get to the meat yet.”

Butchering an animal inside a restaurant is against the law in New York State for sanitary reasons. Diseases such as E. coli can be spread through unsafe butchering.

“In general, you can’t have a dead animal in a food services establishment,” Billittier said.

In addition, it’s illegal to sell meat that hasn’t been prepared by a licensed butcher, he said.

“What were they going to do with the meat?” Billittier wondered. “I don’t think we’ll ever really know the answer to that.”

The bizarre discovery was made after a tipster called the Health Department late Friday morning.

A health inspector was quickly sent to the restaurant and saw the dead deer being butchered. The inspector also discovered a cooling unit at the restaurant was not at the proper temperature.

The restaurant was immediately closed down. A hearing on the matter is expected to be held early next week.

Escaped Monkey+Cornfield=Awesomely Awesomeness

And it happened in Florida.

Scads of false reports have also complicated Safari Wild’s effort to capture the monkeys, Wehrmann said. Patas monkeys grow to about 10 pounds and are the fastest runners of any primate, reaching speeds of nearly 35 mph.

“People don’t know what they are,” said Wehrmann, a St. Petersburg veterinarian. “People think they are squirrels.”

Clark can vouch for their quickness and spooky nature. He’s never seen one closer than 100 yards. The slightest disturbance sends them bolting for safety.

He reported the monkey sightings to the fish and wildlife officers after going through several hundred pounds of corn in his deer feeders during the past few months.

“I don’t think they believed me,” Clark said. “No interest at all.”

So Clark installed game cameras near the deer feeders that are triggered by motion detectors. Hunters and wildlife aficionados use them to capture images of rare species.

It wasn’t long before he had dozens of photos of patas monkeys climbing all over the deer feeders and tinkering with the mechanism that releases the corn.

He was amazed how brazen and relaxed the animals appeared.

“They are smart, very smart,” Clark said.

And troublesome, too.

Clark tried to start his two tractors about three weeks ago and nothing happened. He jump-started one, and found it odd that the lights were on and the knobs were in strange positions.

The other tractor couldn’t be jump-started. It fired up after he installed new batteries that cost $180. Again, the lights were on and switches were in unusual settings.

He figured it out: the monkeys.

“It didn’t bother me too bad until I had to start buying batteries,” Clark said.

Around that time Clark’s 10-year-old grandson came up with a solution. The young sportsman wanted to shoot one of the monkeys and mount it in his bedroom.

No, let’s not do that, Clark told his grandson.

Clark has opted to coexist peacefully with the monkeys.

He’s not sure they’ll ever be captured and has become impressed with their craftiness. “They’ve kind of made themselves at home.”

Indonesian Man Gets Cow Pregnant, Then The Fun Begins

And if by “fun”, you mean the locals drowning the cow, then it was a real knee-slapper.

The cow, which is five months pregnant, was thrown out to the sea about 3 kilometers from land Monday. The villagers believe the animal was impregnated by a village elder.

During the ritual the man, who was caught red-handed having sexual intercourse with the cow two months ago, joined the boat trip in order to throw away his clothes to to symbolize him discarding his sins.

Julah customary village head Ketut Sidemen said the ritual, called gamya gamana, or freak weeding, and had been conducted there for generations. The decision to perform the ritual was made a local residents meeting.

In line with customary regulations, the perpetrator, identified only as PS, 70, was sanctioned to fund the expensive ceremony, which aimed to cleanse him of any bad influences.

Luh Ketut Suryani, a professor and activist, deplored the sancation against PS.

She said drowning a cow was baseless because sexual intercourse between a human being and am animal could not cause pregnancy due to the different chromosomes and genes of the two.

“The cow is not guilty, why shoud it be drowned? Why don’t just use a symbol like what was done by the perpetrator?” she said.