If You Feel Like Getting Drunk And Shooting Your Lawnmower

Expect bad things to happen.

According to a criminal complaint, on Wednesday Keith Walendowski got drunk early in the morning. He decided to mow his lawn on the 3500 block of South Austin Street in Milwaukee.

He couldn’t get the lawnmower to start. His solution? Prosecutors say Walendowski went to his basement and grabbed a sawed off shotgun, and he fired twice at the lawnmower.

“I’ll tell you the truth. I got p—ed because my lawn mower wouldn’t start, so I got my shotgun and shot it,” Walendowski said to an officer. “I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want.”

If You Love Seeing Female College Soccer Players Taking Pictures Of Themselves

Meet Megan Ohai (in the schoolgirl outfit).

If You Want To Play Naked “Truth Or Dare”

Expect bad things to happen to you.

Jennifer Russell, of New Smyrna Beach, faces charges of lewd and lascivious conduct after the incident earlier this week at Whistle Stop Park in Edgewater.

Russell was spotted running near a park bathroom carrying a shirt while wearing only a bra, according to Edgewater police investigators.

The teens who were with Russell said she provided alcohol and was going to expose her breasts to them, according to police.

Russell has bailed out of jail, Local 6 News reported.

If You Want To See The Greatest name Ever Given To A Collegiate Athlete

Meet Mr. Long Wang of the University of North Carolina.

If You Thought You Had An Awesome 21st Birthday

This guy has you beat.

Police said they arrived at the building because of a call about a fight at the indoor training facility next door, and later found out later the call was actually made by Costenbader. He was found alone in a first-floor bathroom in the football building, which is home to the offices of Paterno and his staff as well as the team locker room.

An extensive collection of bowl game trophies, awards and other memorabilia are also on display, though there was no apparent damage to those items. The trophy awarded to Penn State after its Alamo Bowl victory last year had apparently been handled but was not damaged, team spokesman Jeff Nelson said.