If You Are Wondering If West Virginia Requires Food Service Employees To Wash Their Hands

They don’t, as this sign posting scam reveals.

Attorney General Darrell McGraw is warning businesses around the state that a company called the West Virginia Food Service Compliance Center is sending bogus notices about requirements concerning posters about employee handwashing.

McGraw said the company is telling businesses that state law requires them to purchase posters about handwashing and to display them.

McGraw said there is no such law. Specific handwashing regulations are generally set by county health boards.

If You Feel People Are Discriminating Against Your Helper Monkey

Why not file a lawsuit?

Debby Rose of Springfield said in the lawsuit that the 10-year-old bonnet macaque helps curb a social anxiety disorder that can cause her to have panic attacks in public.

The suit contends the Springfield-Greene County Health Department lacked the authority to decide that Richard is not a service animal under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Health officials in 2006 sent letters to restaurants and grocery stores, advising them not to let Rose in with the monkey.

If You Are An NFL QB Who Feels Compelled To Chop Some Wood

Protect your hands. Just ask Josh McCown.

Back home in Texas, McCown said he was holding the firewood and his brother, a backup quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, cut his finger instead of the wood.

McCown has 10 more days to recover before training camp, but the injury could add another element of intrigue to the Dolphins’ much-anticipated quarterback competition.

A six-year veteran, McCown, 29, is hoping to beat out second-year pro John Beck and rookie Chad Henne.

With 31 NFL starts, McCown has a decided edge in NFL experience. He’s thrown 35 touchdowns and 40 interceptions playing for three NFL teams, including a four-year stint with the Arizona Cardinals.

If You Are A Fugitive From The Law

Just don’t drive a truck with your picture on it.

If That Sub Sandwich Doesn’t Taste Right

Just make sure nothing extra is in there.

John Agnesini says he knew his lunch didn’t taste right. The 27-year-old said he was horrified to find a 7-inch serrated blade in the bread.

He said it was protruding into the half of the sandwich he was about to start chomping on and that it “could’ve slashed” the side of his mouth.

Instead, he said he fell ill with “severe stomach issues” for hours after eating. He attributes it to food poisoning from the embedded blade.

I Think I Found One New Jersey Politician Who Was Honest

Too bad this mayor is in more hot water for being honest than being a crook.

In a newsletter aimed at the town’s summer renters, he referred to a certain group of young people with a name some Italian-Americans find offensive.

Belmar is lovely and tranquil, an escape from humidity and New York City.

Mayor Ken Pringle says he wants to keep it that way, but he may have used the wrong language to make his point. In his weekly newsletter to summer renters, the mayor, borrowing a reference he thought was fairly commonly used in his town, and lifting an incident from “njguido.com,” described a certain type that descends on Belmar:

“Guidos as kind of a rare bird and are “as welcome as, oh, Canada geese.”

Pringle switched to full damage control mode on Wednesday.

“In a very positive way, the 20-somethings who consider themselves to be “guidos,” it’s not an epithet,” Pringle said. “In my own town, I will tell you that there are people who don’t like it; but it’s like a generational divide on this issue.”

If The Recent Smoking Bans Make You Miss That Cigarette Smoke Smell In Your Club

Just do what the Dutch are doing to recreate the smell.

Unlike the real thing, the artificial tobacco smells do not have any health risks and does not linger in the hair or clothing of bar customers.

“Geurmachines” come in different sizes and prices, ranging from giant smell-makers, costing £3500 for exhibition halls to smaller and cheaper scent devices for cafés, priced at £440.

Over 50 different scents are offered for the new machines ranging from tobacco aromas to the smell of leather, freshly baked bread or new cars.

Cristiano Ronaldo Doesn’t Want To Bang Every Piece Of Female Flesh Out There After All

The “football” star may have or may not have broken up with Nereida Gallardo and her bottle of suntan oil. Who knows. But if he did, he is retarded.

That’s Nereida in the gold suit.

Well, even if “C-Ron” did break up with her, he at least is smart enough to stay away from Paris Hilton.

Here is the clip I found over at Machochip:

Football superstar Cristiano Ronaldo turned down Paris Hilton after she made a play for him at a Hollywood nightclub, MailOnline has learned.

The Manchester United striker – currently in LA on an undisclosed business trip – arrived at trendy hotspot Villa in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

A source said: ‘Paris was all over him. The moment he arrived, she went over to his private table.

‘At one point, she pushed her chest together and made a point of trying to snuggle up against him.
‘But Ronaldo clearly wasn’t interested in Paris. He turned his back on her.’

Well played, sir. Well Played.

If You Want To Know How Awesome Paul Hornung Still Is

This interview will prove it.

“You guys had a great life, but I don’t think you could live that lifestyle today.”

Hornung: “Oh hell you could. You’re in such good shape, are you crazy? When you’re 24-years-old, you weigh 215 pounds, you can work out every day of your life, you could make love to five girls a week and play 44 games of football. Hell.”