Fat Guy+Bicycle=Awesome Fail!

more about “Fat Guy+Bicycle=Awesome Fail! “, posted with vodpod

Thanks to Don.

If An Escaped Bull Crashes Through Your Fence

Just let him swim in your pool to cool off.

The pool was covered at the time so the animal was unable to see the potential hazard, but immediately burst through the canvas and began to splash about in the four-foot deep water.

While neighbours, friends and family crowded round to watch the drama unfold, six firemen from the Fife brigade joined a local vet to help rescue the hapless party animal.

Mr Stewart, a company director, added: “My family and I stood back and let the emergency services do all the work.

“I don’t think they were terribly pleased with us – we stood in the garden with glasses of wine and shouted unhelpful suggestions.”

Mr Stewart’s children Samantha, 12, Lucy, 10, and Finbar, 7, were delighted with their unusual party guest.

He added: “The kids thought it was great. They were a bit disappointed that they didn’t get to have the swim they were planning but they ended up with a much better story to tell their friends.”

Mr Stewart’s partner Gillian runs Acorn nursery from the Kinaldy farmhouse, near St Andrews, but evacuated the children as a precaution.

Wow. Talk About A Weird Drunk Guy Tearing Up Your Curtains Story

Apparently, this transpired in Covington, KY.

Authorities say that at about 2 AM on Saturday, 25 year old Jason Allen Crowe crashed his car into a fence on North Polk Street in Covington.

He then kicked in the door to a nearby house, went inside and started pulling down curtains and destroying things, according to Covington Police Captain Jack West.

“He ran through the house, ransacking the house,” said West. “When he got to the occupant of the house, a young lady with a year-old baby laying in bed, he ran up and pulled the covers off, and started growling at her.”

The suspect did not know the woman, according to West.

Neighbors who heard the 23 year old woman scream for help were able to drag the subject out of the residence and hold him until a Covington police officer patrolling nearby arrived and arrested him.

West says alcohol may have been a factor in Crowe’s actions.

“He told us he thought someone was after him,” West said. “He admitted to drinking, but his behavior was a little more bizarre than alcohol could account for.”

If Odell Thurman Cuts In Front Of You At A Waterpark

Just let him go. Let him go.

Here is what the local report has to offer:

On May 27, Thurman was involved in an altercation at Kalahari Waterpark Resort where he punched another man in the face, breaking his jaw, said Erie County Sheriff’s office Det. Bob Lippert.

“They were both just guests at the resort,” Lippert said, adding that the argument was over a place in line.

Ho Hum. Another Guy Getting Nailed For A DUI While Riding A Bicycle

This time, it was in Cincinnati.

So on Tuesday evening, Knapke got arrested – for riding a bicycle while intoxicated.

Knapke, 37, of Colerain Township, appeared in court today, where a judge set his bond at $4,000 and where Knapke said he’d join Alcoholics Anonymous.

According to a police report, Knapke was spotted on his blue 18-speed Canyon just before 10:30 p.m. Tuesday in the 3500 block of Springdale Road. He rode over multiple lanes and held up traffic.

If You See A Guy Riding A Bicycle In Nothing But His Underwear

Check to make sure he is not a robber.

Some bills were sticking out of the leg area of his skivvies, according to a criminal complaint charging Patrick Bishop, 36, of Hartford, with armed robbery.

Prosecutors said that he used a toy gun when he ordered a clerk to open a cash register and then took the money. The complaint said that he peeled off clothing and tossed away the toy gun as he fled.

If You Are The Groundskeeper At A Golf Course

Try not to do what this English guy did.

Fairways are usually sprayed with a light weed killer, but last month the turf was thoroughly watered with a solution of industrial-strength Gallup 360 – a systemic herbicide designed for the drying out or “desiccation” of grassland.

On the label, the product is advertised as “suitable for use on industrial sites, paths, roadways and in amenity and forest areas”.

A large warning notice adds: “DO NOT spray on windy days or near desirable species.”

One member who had just stumped up his fees said: “The grass has gone on 11 holes. In a few weeks, we’ll be playing on mud.”

Another added: “I can’t understand why they would have a chemical that kills grass in a golf club. I just hope it doesn’t affect the money the club receives from green fees.”

Ron Collie, chairman of the greens committee, said the huge cost of repair work would be covered partly by the club’s insurance.

He added: “The grass areas on 11 holes are effectively dead. This was a serious accidental error and we have implemented more stringent checks and procedures for the selection of chemicals on the course.”

Yeah. I’d say so.

If You Are In Jail

Try not to cut off your genitals.

“He was unsuccessful,” Micalizzi said. “As I understand it, there was a lot of blood.”

Micalizzi said he did not know if Deleon stopped the effort himself because he could not carry it out to conclusion, or was interrupted by a guard.

Deleon was taken to a hospital, his penis was re-attached, and he was back in his cell the next day, Micalizzi said.

If Your Woman Is Not In The Mood For “Intimacy”

Don’t do what this guy did.

According to court records, the alleged victim says Smallwood woke her up about 4:00 am on June 30th.

She said he became angry after she fell asleep twice and doused her van with lighter fluid and threatened to do the same to her.

Smallwood has been ordered to stay away from the woman.

Wow! Talk About A Crazy Vacation Dining Experience!

It appears as though the Castellanos family of Nevada may want to rethink asking the cook at a diner in Oregon to redo the hamburgers.

What happened to provoke the incident that left Paul Bunyan’s co-owner Sequoia Lott beaten and bruised to point she had to go to the hospital is clear. Cook Anthony Paiva was also injured in the incident, sustaining facial fractures and a broken eye socket.

The folks at Paul Bunyan and the Castellanos family agree that Alejandro Castellanos had complained that a burger he ordered was underdone and cold.

Castellanos claims the staff was rude and wouldn’t honor his request to remake or reheat the burger. While the staff maintains that they did offer to reheat the burger, they say Castellanos didn’t want anything but a new burger.

According to statements taken from Alejandro’s daughter, Angie Castellano, that appear in the police report, she, in response to the dispute over the hamburger, wrote “You Suck” in ketchup on her plate prior to leaving the restaurant.

Lott then went outside to confront the family about the message left on the plate. This is where the two accounts of the incident begin to differ greatly.