If You Want To See A Hot Female Tennis Player Change During The Middle Of A Match

Check out Jelena Jankovic at the French Open.

Personally, I find it disturbing that the cameras and announcers were focusing on this the whole time.

If You Want To See What Drugs Do To A Spider

Here you go.

If You Want To Wear A Nose Ring In A Lightning Storm

Expect bad things to happen to you.

“She had walked into the garage to go outside to turn off the faucet. The light came in through the garage and hit her,” Jessica’s mother, Danielle Taylor told WBZ.

“It was like a red flash that came from her feet and she was thrown into my arms. She was blue and purple, and stiff as a board.”

“When you hear it, it’s unbelieveable, but it’s true.”

Jessica and her mother had been out filling up water balloons when the storm came in, so they went inside. Danielle says Jessica decided to go back out to shut off the hose when the flash hit her.

“The flash came from her feet, her face lit up, and the next thing I knew Jessica was in my arms.”

Jessica was back to work hours later for her overnight shift. Taylor said her daughter is feeling better, although the top of her lip and the tip of her nose are numb.

By the way – they figured with this luck they should buy a scratch lottery ticket. They did and they won $20.

If You Want To Defend Your Right To Drink Beer

Just claim it’s for your health. Just ask George Will.

Suffice it to say that the good news is really good: Beer is a health food. And you do not need to buy it from those wan, unhealthy-looking people who, peering disapprovingly at you through rimless Trotsky-style spectacles, seem to run all the health food stores.

So let there be no more loose talk — especially not now, with summer arriving — about beer not being essential. Benjamin Franklin was, as usual, on to something when he said, “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Or, less judgmentally, and for secular people who favor a wall of separation between church and tavern, beer is evidence that nature wants us to be.

If You Feel Compelled To Box A Kangaroo

Make sure this doesn’t happen to you.

Yes, I know it’s old. So what?