If You Plan On Writing To Ozzie Guillen

Be prepared for him to answer your email.

“Sometimes, I learn from them,” he said. “Not every mail is a hate e-mail or a dirty e-mail. I love to hear what the fans feel. The only thing that bothers me is when they talk about my family.

“I can take being criticized. I can take being second-guessed. It’s my job. I love it. … But when you get personal and talk about my family life or where I come from or my English, that’s not right. It makes me upset. It makes me sad.”

So now you know the rules. No comments about his family or Venezuela.

Tell him he doesn’t know a thing about baseball. Criticize his decisions. Tell him he talks too much. But be warned: He might remind you that you’re stupid, loser. Jajajajaja.