If You Want To Wear A Bacon Tuxedo

Today is your lucky day.

To add pork fat to injury, the Bacon-Patterned, Bacon-Scented Tuxedo can only be dry-cleaned. One can only wonder if the scent goes through changes after dry cleaning chemicals are applied to the cloth, creating perhaps a weird amalgam of scents that might attract even new and different wildlife!

But just think of the advantages of owning one of these Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned tuxedos! Now you can get married in bacon, get confirmed or graduate in bacon and even attend the Oscars in bacon if that is your heart’s desire. (If you happen to be popular actor, Kevin Bacon, it might work, but if you are anyone else…well, you know.) Each Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned Tuxedo is tailored from chemically treated latex print fabric and is available in one of four sizes (dumb, dumber, dumber still and off the charts dumb).