If you Fall Asleep In The Library Bathroom

Don’t be surprised if the police come to get you.

A responding officer reported the man had not been drinking, rather “just fell asleep” and he was “on his way.”

Sgt. Kuffer Kaltenborn said Friday the man is “one of our local transients.

I Think British “Football” Fans Are Calm And Dignified

Ummm…maybe not.

Five men arrested for wounding with intent on suspicion of stabbing a rival Russian fan have been released – and it appears the knifeman has escaped.

Sixteen men are currently being held for public order offences, four for assault and four for violent disorder and affray. There were further arrests for throwing missiles, possessing an offensive weapon and criminal damage.

Some may appear in court this afternoon, after they have sobered up this morning.

Police chiefs said they were left “sickened and disappointed” with the behaviour of some fans.

Across the city centre this morning streets were strewn with rubbish, cans of beer and broken glass after an estimated 100,000 Rangers fans descended on Manchester for the big game.

An army of council workers will begin moving the mountains of rubbish but the Rangers’ fans own reputation – and that of the city’s for hosting events – may take longer to clean up.

Assistant Chief Constable Justine Curran of Greater Manchester Police said: “A minority of thugs have overshadowed what should have been a great occasion.”

She added: “I’ve watched them commit damage, assault my officers and I’m really sickened and disappointed.”

If You Love The Preakness

Here is how to celebrate.

If You Want To See Vince Young Shirtless And Boozing It Up

Today is your lucky day.
Here is some excellent analysis from The Sports Point:

According to this website, these pictures were taken in Texas. We can’t name everyone in the picture, but we’re pretty sure those are some of VY’s former Longhorn teammates. How else would you explain the out of shape white guy?

If You Want To Know What The Son Of The Governor Of Colorado Is Doing

Try wild parties!

Some of the partying occurs on the 100-year-old mansion’s first floor, which is filled with historic art and antiques, and in the basement.

An invitation to the April 18 event — what August Ritter called the “Mansion Masquerade — Because Life is Too Tasty Not To Party” — and posted on a social-networking site, asks guests to try to bring a date “of legal age.”

“We will only be able to do this for another 2 to 7 years (depending on the voters of Colorado) so we need to take advantage of it,” the invitation says.

Gov. Bill Ritter was in Washington on Thursday to testify before Congress and unavailable for comment. But his spokesman, Evan Dreyer, emphasized that August, a student at Colorado State University and the oldest Ritter child, insists that everyone shown in the photos is of legal drinking age and that nothing was broken in the mansion during the parties. Either the governor or Jeannie Ritter was in the mansion for each of the events, Dreyer said.

If You Want To Clean Up Your Colon

Cuffy has the solution.

I Want My Music Fix!!

Swedish Mothers Seem A Bit Horny

Especially if you believe this survey.

Apparently, 43 percent of mums under the age of 29 own a dildo and almost 28 percent of those questioned in the Mama survey have checked out online porn.

Having said that, 31 percent of those surveyed think their man’s freshly showered body is the greatest turn-on. Some mums would prefer a completely different man altogether: 7 percent of mums have been unfaithful after becoming mothers.

Back to the kinky stuff: 39 percent of the Swedish mums surveyed have had anal sex and 23 percent fantasize about other men or women during sexual intercourse. 37 percent of the younger mums (under age 29) have had lesbian fantasies. 2 percent have had group sex and 23 percent of mums under the age of 29 use handcuffs as part of sex play.

But the most telling statistic in the survey – though not exactly surprising – is that 60 percent of mums simply want more frequent sex. They would like to have sex at least once or twice a week but only 38 percent of them actually get it that often.

Many parents downsize sexual activities once they get kids but Swedish mums (and dads) are making an effort to combat this. 38 percent have even had sex whilst their baby slept in the same bed next to them.

If You Want To See Brigitte Nielsen Naked In Playboy

You have a problem. But it appears as though she is trying to appear in that magazine again.

She says, “I wanna look up and say, `Oh, I like myself. I don’t like my lines… I’m gonna do the boobs; I’m gonna lift them and be a bit more discreet and then I will do Playboy. Twenty years ago, I did the cover of Playboy… I wanna do Playboy December this year. I’m gonna be 45.”

If You Want To Find An Ancient Bust Of Julius Caesar

Just go to the River Rhone in France.

It said other items had been found at the same site, including a 1.8m (6ft) marble statue of Neptune from the first decade of the third century AD, and two smaller statues in bronze.

Divers taking part in an archaeological excavation made the discovery between September and October 2007.

Luc Long, the archaeologist who directed the excavations, said all the busts of Caesar in Rome were posthumous.

A group of republican senators assassinated Caesar in 44BC.

“I suspect the bust was thrown in the river after he was assassinated because it would not have been good at that time to be considered a follower of his,” said Mr Long.