If You Want To See A Speedboat On A Golf Course

Today is your lucky day.

The Law Of Unintended Consequences, Vol. 238,928,091,011

Sadly, more and more horses are being abandoned out west.

The situation for marginal horses — horses whose poor physical condition or disposition makes them targets for slaughter — is even worse, after a court ruling sought by animal-rights groups effectively shut down the U.S. horse slaughter industry last year.

The result is that a growing number of unwanted horses are being starved or turned loose to fend for themselves in the U.S. West, according to animal welfare advocates.

“What concerns me is a fate worse than slaughter,” said Temple Grandin, professor of animal science at Colorado State University and an authority on the handling of livestock such as horses. “We’ve got people turning horses loose in fields, dropping horses off in the night — my worst nightmares are coming true.”

And what caused this situation?

Horses eat hay made from either grass or alfalfa, or a mix of both, and a modest amount of grain. Prices fluctuate, but in east central Idaho, hay prices have risen to $145 from $120 per ton a year ago, a jump of 21 percent. In northern Idaho it costs $220 per ton and as much as $300 per ton in parts of California. Feeding a horse can cost $2,000 a year or more.

Ok. I can understand that. Prices for everything have skyrocketed in the last year. But, I have a feeling that well-intentioned, but misguided, policies have led to this sad story.

But the romantic concept of freeing a tamed horse to roam the West’s wide open spaces bears no resemblance to the reality, said Kirk Miller, livestock investigator in Idaho and Montana for the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

“They have no survival instinct in the wild, no clue as to what’s dangerous to eat, no knowledge of how to grub for food under the snow,” he said.

Miller and Colorado State’s Grandin are among animal experts who say the campaign led by the Humane Society of the United States to end domestic horse slaughter was well-intentioned but misguided.

Now the tens of thousands of American horses marked for slaughter are shipped to Canada and Mexico, where long, stressful journeys end in what some horse advocates say can be unduly painful deaths.

Most horses are slaughtered for human consumption, with Europe and Asia providing markets for their meat.

Some horse associations are siding with the Humane Society in its fight to end export of horses for slaughter altogether. But others are seeking to re-establish processing in the United States to broaden the outlet for unwanted horses and to ensure the animals are killed by a mechanical method approved by the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

Keith Dane, director of equine protection for the Humane Society, said for Americans to have their horses killed for their meat would be akin to sending their pet dogs to slaughter for human consumption.

But unlike its canine counterpart, a horse weighs an average of 1,000 pounds and disposal of its carcass after Humane Society-recommended euthanasia has become burdensome. Where permitted by law and where able, owners can bury carcasses on their own land or pay several hundred dollars in assorted fees to deposit the remains at a local landfill.

Those complications may be behind what state livestock officials and federal land managers in the West say is a spike in the number of horses shot dead and dumped on public lands.

There you go.

Look, I love animals, and I look poorly on those who abuse and mistreat animals; however, misguided and foolish policies endorsed by “animal rights activists” have led to this sad story. Now, government controlled methods of maintaining and handling horses have been shuttered, with the result being the number of sick and abandoned horses reaching unheard of levels.

And what angers me the most is that those groups who declare themselves the protectors of animals have created this disaster. And they refuse to answer for their actions.

If You Were Worried About Robbers Wearing Gorilla Masks

Rest easy tonight, for the criminals are behind bars.

Less than an hour later, two 27-year-old men were walking back to their apartment from a Bell Road convenience store when a Pontiac SUV pulled up beside them. A gunman wearing a gorilla mask got out and demanded not only money, but the black cargo pants worn by one of the men.

The pair gave them money and the pants, and the gunman got back into the Pontiac and fled, police said.

If You Plan On Stealing Wild Parakeet Eggs

Try to do better than this guy.

Cameron Fritzson, 20, was taken to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood, then Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami with second- and third-degree burns to his upper extremities, police said. He was listed in critical, but stable condition later Monday night.

Fritzon climbed a 10-foot fence surrounding a Florida Power & Light substation near Sheridan Street and University Drive shortly before 4 p.m, police said.

Authorities say he then tried to scale the electrical tower where his arm brushed against a transformer. He fell 20 feet. Police believe Fritzon may have been trying to collect the parakeet eggs to sell at a pet store.

If You Plan On Riding A Lawnmower While Intoxicated

At least wear a tuxedo.

Chautauqua County Sheriff Joseph Gerace said deputies got a report of an intoxicated person at a home in Irving around 1 a.m. Monday. When they arrived, the man was spotted riding away on his mower.

Deputies who stopped the Irving resident charged him with felony driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation.