If You Love Hockey Announcers In Garish Garb

Don Cherry is your guy.

If You Love The John Daly Lifestyle

Then these guys have some advice on how to live it to the max.

If you start to feel the any of the following :

- light headedness

- inability to operate heavy machinery

- insatiable hunger for wild turkey and Wild Turkey

- the need to take your shirt off

You are ready to start swinging the sticks with Big John!

While the game play is sort of wobbly/fuzzy and it can become increasingly hard to keep your balance as you shotgun beers before each hole, players will have all sorts of sordid obstacles to overcome in order to advance into the championship level. Some of the challenges throughout the game are:

Trying not to ogle the girl in the Hooters outfit that’s looping for you while studying your putts

Passing up all the sponsor tents lining the fairways with signs that say “Open Bar”

Have to smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds by the turn or you receive a two stroke penalty

Game is obviously made to give players with the physique of a pregnant walrus a distinct advantage

It turns out that all your rowdy friends

Further Proof That Pitchers Are Stupid

Dude, punch a pillow, not the door.

“I’d like to apologize first of all to the Royals organization, my teammates, my coaching staff, for my action. It was uncalled for,” Bale said. “It was, you know, a moment of frustration and I wish I could do anything I could to take it back. But I can’t.”

Exactly why Bale slammed his hand into a door in his hotel room in Cleveland on Friday remained a mystery. After issuing a brief statement in front of his locker Monday, the left-hander walked away without taking questions.

Royals manager Trey Hillman later said “no comment” when asked if he knew what had been bugging the pitcher, who was probably headed to the bullpen after coming back from the disabled list for shoulder fatigue.

I Feel Like Skiing!

The Chicago White Sox Love Blow Up Dolls

Especially when it comes to how they use them in the clubhouse.

“This was in the same spirit,” Sox spokesman Scott Reifert said. “In terms of taste I think people would find it tasteless. They were just trying to get the bats going.”

Reifert said players have “burned bats, kissed bats, slept with their bats, blessed their bats, you name it.”

On Sunday, the bats were circled around the two naked female dolls, one of whom had a bat inserted in its backside to prop it up. Each wore a sign over her breasts, one saying “Let’s Go White Sox” and the other reading “You’ve Got to Push,” the National Post in Toronto reported.

One group not amused by the prank was the Association for Women in Sports Media, whose members work toward ensuring a non-threatening work environment for all women in sports media.

“The presence of those dolls creates an uncomfortable situation for any female journalist who enters the White Sox locker room simply trying to do her job,” said Jenni Carlson, the group’s president, in an e-mail.

I Feel Like Participating In A Late-Night Rally Race

British Students On Holiday Are Calm And Dignified

Well, not according to the folks in this Spanish town.

They had free entry to four nightclubs and with a 150 euro wristband could drink all they wanted from 9.30pm to 4.30am.

The town spent an extra £4,000 on policing and £4,000 clearing up rubbish, said the mayor.

Some £1,200 in police fines was handed to those who damaged road signs.

“The philosophy is to get drunk, nothing more,” said the mayor.

“They start first thing in the morning drinking beer on the beach.

“They leave the beach like a rubbish dump.

“Then they get more drunk in the discos until the early hours when they return to their hotels before starting all over again.”

Cedric Benson Tackled For Yet Another Loss

This time, it involves the cops, a boat, some booze, and pepper spray.

Benson refused a breath test but failed a sobriety test designed for boaters, according to the LCRA. The officer wanted to bring him ashore for more tests, but Benson refused.

But Benson told the Chicago Sun-Times he was not drunk and did not resist arrest.

“I was not intoxicated. There was alcohol on the boat, and others were enjoying themselves, but I wasn’t drunk,” he said.

But according to the LCRA, an officer asked Benson, owner-operator of the boat, to do a “float” sobriety test. Detainees may be asked to follow an object with their eyes, do the alphabet and count down with their fingers. An officer said Benson failed. Authorities wanted to bring Benson ashore for more tests, the LCRA said.

Benson refused to put on a life jacket — a requirement on LCRA boats — and “presented himself as a threat to the officer and argued about whether or not he would be taken to land,” authorities said.

If You Want A Reason Why You Should Not Bring Your Cell Phone Into A Combat Zone

Ask this guy in Afghanistan.

The three-minute call ended abruptly.

“You could hear him saying stuff like, he needs more ammo, or he needs another barrel,” said John Petee, Phillips’ brother. “At the end, you could hear a guy saying ‘Incoming! RPG!’ And then it cut off.”

As soon as the voice mail stopped playing, the Petees began trying to reach their son in Afghanistan. The family figured out Petee had tried to call home earlier that day, but he didn’t leave a message and the phone later redialed during battle.

They eventually reached their son.

“I finally got a hold of him,” Sandie Petee said. “He was embarrassed, he said, ‘Don’t let Grandma hear it.’”

Amy Winehouse’s Hotness Meter Just Went To 11

And here is the proof.

While chatting on her phone, drinking wine and smoking, she used a home hair dye kit to bleach part of her fringe.

She has been working with her producer Mark Ronson on the theme tune for the new James Bond film, Quantum Of Solace, which is out in November.

The movie, the second to feature Daniel Craig as 007, is said to focus on Bond’s vengeance for the death of his lover Vesper Lynd in the last film Casino Royale.