Florida’s Legislature Still Allows Banging Sheep

Well, it seems that bill just didn’t quite make it through the session.
Here are some items of note from the stupidest state in the Union:

Also Of Interest

Bestiality: Still legal in Florida

State Song: “Old Folks at Home,” also known as “Swanee River,” will be changed to leave out racially offensive lyrics. A second song, “Florida – Where the Sawgrass Meets the Sky,” submitted by a music teacher for a statewide contest, will become the state anthem.

Vehicle, um, decorations: Carry on with the popular pickup accoutrement: so-called Truck Nutz. The anatomically correct accessories, modeled after bull testicles, were outlawed by the Senate but had immunity in the House, so no $60 fine after all.

License plates: Added to the roster of 109 specialty plates now available are new ones touting Florida tennis, lighthouses and horses. Lawmakers declined to approve an “I Believe” plate promoting faith-based education, but endorsed a plate bearing the state motto “In God We Trust.”

Public campaign financing: Continues, despite a proposal to end it.

I Feel Like Surfing With Sharks!

If You Want To Climb A Fence

Make sure the other side is not the edge of a cliff.

“One ended up getting stuck. Both males appeared to have climbed over the protective fencing above Lameroo Beach and were sitting on the cliff face when one slipped and fell.

“The other has gone down to rescue him and slipped, becoming lodged in a tree.

“He called for assistance.

“One person made his own way back up, the other had to be rescued by Fire and Rescue.”

Sen-Sgt Smith said police had no information on how they came to be there.

“Neither would elaborate on why they climbed over the fence,” he said.

St John Ambulance deputy operations manager Craig Garraway said a triple 0 call was received from the man from the bottom of the cliff at about 4am.

Japanese People Seem To Like Animals Over Children

So much so, the number of pets has outstripped the number of children.

It boils down, theorizes Chuo University literature professor Masahiro Yamada, to the human longing to be needed, a longing ironically undermined by society’s greatest triumphs — freedom and independence. Independence breeds indifference, which is contagious. Only our pets need and love us unconditionally.

Premodern village life, Yamada writes, had its built-in social networks within which one always knew one’s place — meaning, negative connotations aside, one always had a place. More recently, lifetime employment and stable, if not always happy, families afforded roles in which our performance clearly mattered to people other than ourselves.

But casual employment, weakened family ties and increasing survival to ages for which social roles have yet to emerge are today engendering a mass sense of futility, of which the pet boom is one measure.

“I met an elderly pensioner,” writes Yamada, “who toils as a part-time cleaner merely in order to be able to feed her several cats.” One hardly knows whether to cheer for her or weep.

If You Were Wondering About Elephant Retirement Homes In India

Wonder no more.

“We want them to enjoy their last years after being such good workers without worrying where their next meal will come from,” said V.S. Verghese, Kerala’s chief wildlife warden who is in charge of the scheme.

“They’ll get special treats like big slabs of rice, a course sugar called jaggery, and honey. And vets will be on hand.”

The home will consist of 1,000 acres of woodland where each of the elephants can roam freely, as well as having its own personal pen. There, they will be fed, watered, bathed and massaged with large pumice stones and coconut husks by dedicated mahouts (elephant grooms) to keep their blood circulation healthy.

The mahouts will also mix special Ayurvedic tonics from local herbs, which can be consumed as pills or rubbed into their skin as a balm. Elephants, including Babu, suffer greatly from allergies.

Mr Verghese describes the home as “like a wildlife sanctuary”, with plenty of trees, reeds and bamboo where the elephants can forage. The surrounding countryside is mostly rubber plantations and eucalyptus forests.