If You Want To Do A Demonstration On Water Purity

At least know which cup is which.

If You Want To Be A Carpenter

Try not to let this happen to you.

But just weeks into his new vocation, Mr Hill was covered in a red, itchy rash and his eyes were streaming.

Doctors said he was suffering a rare allergy to dust from the wood shavings.

Mr Hill said: “I was gutted. All my friends thought I was mad giving up my city job and I felt really silly.

“After all I had given up everything to become a carpenter I find out I’m allergic to wood.

If You Are A Chinese Chef

Treat your employees better.

Xian Ming Wang grabbed the knives after arguing with takeway owner Tat Chung Cheung over a work permit.

Wang placed a cleaver on the counter of the busy shop and screamed: “One for me and one for you.” He then vowed to chop Mr Cheung up, adding: “I have already chopped up a man – and I will do the same to you.”

Wang, 37, was jailed for seven months at Dumbarton Sheriff Court yesterday.

He admitted challenging his former boss to a fight, making threats of violence, brandishing the cleavers and placing a couple in a state of fear and alarm.

If You Are A Drunken Brit In Florence, Italy

You now will have an “angel” watching out for you.

Their presence would also deter barmen from serving drunks. Andrea di Martino, the prefect of the city, said the practice of serving drinks to inebriated customers was “not just immoral, but an offence”.

He added: “These volunteers would not only be there to check up on drinkers, but also to help people in difficulty.”

The scheme would be paid for by the bars, who would “benefit from the greater level of security” said Mr Cioni.

Zeljiko Frcko, the manager of the William pub in Piazza Santa Croce, said he would welcome the “angels”. He told the Corriere della Sera newspaper: “Greater surveillance would help us all. The trick would be to be professional and not scare away our clients.

“Often there are underage drinkers who come in and they insist that we serve them and create problems for us.”