If You Want A Marriage Proposal That Will Be The Stuff Of Headlines

This one may be on your list.

“He had set it up very, very nicely,” Chappaqua Fire Chief Andy Metz said Thursday. “He had candles in the trees, candles and dogwood petals along the path, a chandelier with votive candles.”

The girlfriend apparently said yes to the romantic Wednesday night proposal, and the couple left town early Thursday for a trip out west, Metz said. Unfortunately, at least one of the candles apparently stayed lit.

“We got the call about 7:15 this morning, and when I got there five minutes later the gazebo was fully involved in flames,” the chief said. “Luckily, nothing else burned.”

What Is Jail Time For Domestic Battery, Alex?

And the answer is:
What Vanilla Ice is doing right now.

Back at the house on Trianon Place, Laura Van Winkle appeared uninjured and was less forthcoming, saying she did not want to deal with media attention but wants a divorce, according to a deputy’s report. She said her husband had not hit or kicked her, but had pushed her.

“He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set. In front of my daughter,” she told a deputy, the arrest report says. “I’m sorry I can’t say any more until I talk to an attorney.”

Her husband, in turn, told deputies that he and his wife had been arguing since the previous day.

He said his wife is bipolar and takes medication but still has irrational and argumentative episodes and had thrown a picture frame from a rear balcony to the ground, where it shattered near him and their 8- and 10-year-old children.

If You Were Worried If Strip Clubs Were Under Assault From Extra Fees

Worry no longer.

Judge Scott Jenkins wrote in the March 28 decision that the fee, “while furthering laudable goals, violates the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and is therefore invalid.”

The Texas Entertainment Association Inc., which is a group of topless clubs, and Karpod Inc., the owner of an Amarillo club, sued Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott and Comptroller Susan Combs over the fee.

Take that, Nanny Staters!

If You Want To See Earl Campbell’s Heisman Trophy

Just go to the Austin Airport.

This Is The Final Season For Shea Stadium

And one guy will miss it.

From the moment you step off the 7 train at Willets Pt./Shea Stadium, the sights, smells and sounds envelop you in their warmth…quite literally. I shall most definitely miss the cozy confines of Urine Hall, the underground tunnel fans descend into on their way towards the turnstiles. Yes, I will certainly long for that sharp, yet distinct, smell of piss come 2009.

I Just Love When Celebrities Try To Write

It seems some MTV reality TV “star” is blogging about the NHL Playoffs.And she displays what made her “famous”.

And here is her “writing ability” on display.

I grew up in Orange County but now live in LA, so its easier for me to get to Kings games and I’ve become a Kings fan. Funny enough though, I’ve been going to Kings games with friends I grew up with in Laguna Beach, in the heart of Ducks country.

Since the Kings are out of it, I’ll adopt my fellow Orange County Anaheim Ducks as my team for the playoffs. Is there anything you guys think I should know as I watch the Ducks?

I Love It When ESPN Clowns Go At Each Other On The Air!

Here we have Jay Bilas arguing with Dan LeBatard, who still sometimes writes for some newspaper, but seems more interested in being a media personality. Something tells me this argument might involve Tyler Hansbrough, but I’m not sure.

Anyway,is an example of not really wanting to see a winner, just heavy casualties.

Ozzie Guillen Has A Good Relationship With Umpires

Especially this guy.

“I know I’m going to get ejected,” Guillen said Wednesday, two days after Cuzzi ejected him for arguing balls and strikes for the second time in two seasons. “You can ask my bench coach as soon as I say, ‘You’re going to handle this game today because I know I’m going to be ejected’ because that’s how I feel about that situation.”

For the record, Phil Cuzzi also worked Game 4 of the 2005 NLCS and ejected almost half the Cardinals team.

I Just Love Watching Assholes Get What They Deserve

Especially when that idiot Fred Phelps has his fools protest and taunt the funerals for some college kids.

If You Own Fake Hillbilly Teeth

You may need to return them.

The CPSC says that the gray surface paint on the teeth contains excessive levels of lead, violating the federal lead paint standard

If you have a the fake teeth that were sold in 2-packs with the item number 2657 are asked take the toy away from children and contact FUNTASTIC for information on receiving a refund