If You Want To Find One College Basketball Player Who Will Be Taunted Next Year

Here is one.

Police said Pringle, the team’s point guard, sat behind the victim in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with the woman and began masturbating. Police have filed charges of public lewdness and disorderly conduct against him in connection to the incident, but Centre County District Judge Jonathan Grine, who is out of the office, was unable to sign the criminal complaint as of 2 p.m. today. Without the signed complaint, Pringle cannot be formally arrested.

Sports Information Director Brian Siegrist confirmed that charges were filed against Pringle yesterday, but denied Pringle’s involvement in the masturbation incident. Siegrist said Pringle’s status with the basketball team remains unchanged.

Dude.

If You Are On Spring Break

Don’t let women offer you “favors”.

The females, Leslie Taylor Johnson, of Ashford, Ala., and Anna G. Poole, of Marianna, met the victim in a Front Beach Road bar, Panama City Beach police reported in a news release. They enticed him away from the bar and to the beach “by promises of sexual favors.”

In a complaint affidavit, investigators noted the women stayed in contact by cell phone with four men: Samuel Douglas Livingston, Samuel Mitchell Pittman and Randall Evan Pacheco, all of Ashford; and Tyler O’Neal Tharpe, of Midland City, Ala. When the women and victim arrived at the beach behind Landmark Beach Resort, the four men walked up behind the victim, beat him and stole his wallet, police said.

According to the complaint affidavit, the group got the man’s debit card, his driver’s license and $80.

The victim, whose age was not available, called police, and they were able to nab the group shortly after the incident, said Maj. David Humphreys. All of them were charged with strong-armed robbery, beach police said in a news release.

If You Want A Woman To Bite Off Your Ear

Just call her fat.

Anna Martin met Nicholas Dott in Kushion nightclub in Glasgow, last June, a court heard.

They later went to a nearby hotel to spend the night, but Martin, 27, decided to leave minutes after entering their room.

An argument then broke out between the pair and Mr Dott made a jibe about the woman’s weight.

She suddenly lunged forward and sank her teeth into Mr Dott’s ear, leaving him badly disfigured.

Want To Know How Much Of Your Tax Money Is Wasted Through Pork Spending?

Here are the results.

Alaska led the nation with $556 in pork per capita ($380 million total), followed by Hawaii with $221 ($283 million) and North Dakota with $208.

If You Want To Own The Naming Rights To The New DC Baseball Stadium

You have to compete with PETA.

“PETA believes that the name would be a good fit since PETA got its start some 28 years ago in Washington and the Nationals Park already features several vegetarian options for health-conscious and animal-friendly baseball fans,” the release says. “Newly vegetarian sports fans will keep coming out to the ballgame long after their hotdog-chomping counterparts have succumbed to heart attacks, strokes, and cancer.”

If You Run The London Marathon

Here are some groundrules.

The warriors are told how English manners are very different to the acceptable social behaviour in Tanzania.

The guide says: “Whereas at home for you it is acceptable to spit, in England it is not but, if you have to, you must do so in a sink or in some trees when no one is looking.”

When they are out and about, the six are told not seek out a tree or a bush when nature calls but to use the public conveniences.

And the Maasai are warned not to take their hosts’ generosity for granted. “If you see something that someone else has, like a bracelet, and you like it, then the person will find it very unusual if you were to take it and wear it.”

The tribesmen are also given a rundown on how to deal with criminals. “If someone was to see a thief and chase after him and, when they catch him they hurt him, then the person who hurt the thief would go to prison as well as the thief,” it explains

The guide also anticipates that the six might be tempted to herd any sheep or cows they might encounter on sightseeing trips.

If You Want To Polish Gisele Bundchen’s Bottom

You’ll have to compete with this guy for the job.

The 5′ 11″ star was being photographed by Mario Testino, famous for his work with Diana, Princess of Wales and Hollywood’s biggest stars including Demi Moore, Madonna and Angelina Jolie.

Gisele, 27, was fresh from from whirlwind holiday with her American footballer boyfriend, Tom Brady, who plays for the New England Patriots.

If You Want To Party With Some Fat, Old, White Guys

Don has proof it is possible.

Yeah, Charles Barkley and that annoying guy from ESPN (Not that one. The other one) were there as well, but who cares about them? All I wanted to see was some Hot Mr. Belding Action!

If You Want Children To Stay Away From Your House

Do what this guy did.

But residents said the device, known as the Mosquito, was driving away innocent children. The Mosquito emits a high-pitched sound which causes discomfort to young ears, but is above the normal hearing range for most people after they hit their 20s

If You Want To Pick Up A Hooker

That’s your business. But at least make sure you get what you paid for.

He asked her to do the same. She refused, and then demanded to be paid before proceeding any further.

An argument ensued and the man grabbed the prostitute.

“Let’s just say that when he touched her he realised he wasn’t touching a woman,” said Inspector Moses Maphakela.

The man realised he had been duped in the worst possible way – his lady of the night had turned out to be a very pretty man.

He shouted at the transvestite to leave. The prostitute refused and demanded to be paid.

“The man realised the prostitute was strong, so he paid R300 and told him to get out,” Maphakela said.

Another fight ensued before the prostitute eventually left.

Soon afterwards the man realised his cellphone was gone. He went to the police station to lay a charge of theft.

While he was there, the prostitute walked in to lay a charge of assault against him.