Drinking And Suicide Attempts Go Well Together

Except when you fail.

Drunkenness probably saved the life of a young Czech who recently climbed over the safety rail in order to throw himself in the Hranicka abyss but, paralysed by alcohol, he fell asleep on the edge of the steep chasm, the local police told CTK Thursday.

“The young man has been driven to hospital for a check-up. A doctor ordered that he be sent to a psychiatric facility. In addition, the young man figured on the list of missing persons,” said police spokeswoman Michaela Sedlackova said.

I saw this through a link from Ace.

Tim Tebow Likes Hot Women

And hot wings as well.

Remember The Pinto?

Here is their initial roll-out commercial.

Thanks to this site.

If You Want To Buy Your Own Missile Silo

Now is your opportunity.

Well, chances are there won’t be ANY neighbors anywhere close by. Missile silos were built away from populated areas, behind miles of fenceline and under armed guard. Some people like the idea of all that solitude, and if that’s you, life on the (former) nuclear prairie could be for you.

If You Choke On Jello

Make sure you have a child around to save you.

The Press of Atlantic City reports that 56-year-old Shirldine Stewart was watching television and eating Jell-O when her grandson A’Zir Spence came downstairs to ask her a question.

When she turned to look at him a piece of food got lodged in her throat.

After she couldn’t remove the food herself, her grandson asked her whether she was choking. Then the boy suggested she raise her hands over her head.

When she did, the food popped out.

If You Attach A Camera To An Elephant’s Trunk

You will get some amazing pictures.

Now, we show for the first time other creatures of the jungle caught in this extraordinary – and pioneering – way.

Cheeky langur monkeys, a rare sloth bear, spotted deer and a leopard with her cub are just some of the other animals that film-maker John Downer came across in his fascinating experiment.

And here is a picture of a Langur Monkey.

Truly awesome!

If You Are A Fan Of Jayson Whitlock

This article will reaffirm your faith in opinion writing.

I am not political. Dishonesty is so pervasive within politics that I practice abstinence. Conservative and liberal ideologies are the enemies of common sense. I’m a nonvoting, casual observer.

Obama’s candidacy intrigues me for one reason: He has the necessary background, life experience and personality to inspire ordinary Americans to look beyond their racial stereotypes and fears.

Without a unifying force, it’s my concern that we’ll never recognize and embrace ideas, policies and investments that will keep American culture ahead of its competitors.

Obama’s speech last week on race disappointed me. He came off like a typical politician, more interested in damage control than addressing the whole truth. Those of you who read my column regularly know that I’m passionate about issues of race.

Derek Jeter Is Awesome

And Don has the proof.

Quoth Don:

If the blonde on the left looks familiar, it’s because Brett Michael’s sent her ass packing on the latest episode of “Rock of Love 2″.

If You Think You Have Suffered A Freak Injury In Your Lifetime

Try to top this one.

Quoth this expert analysis:

Typical. Boy eats two double cheeseburgers and large fries for $4.24. Boy throws empty McDonalds bag onto floor in disgust. Boy falls into post fast food catatonic state, stands up 90 minutes later and banana peels himself on empty McDonalds bag, falling through TV screen and entertainment cente

Once again, proof that athletes are morons, and McDonald’s is bad for you.

If You Try To Drink An Entire Box Of Wine

Just don’t, OK? Just don’t.

The woman said the 42-year-old Bremerton man was unconscious in the hallway and smelled “fruity.” He had a bag with liquid in it and told her not to call police, according to reports.

An officer arrived to the man’s room and knocked at the door. After getting no response the officer had the employee open the room , where he found the man lying on the bed. The man didn’t respond to the officer at first and his eyes were half open, according to the report.