Have Movie Endings Left You Wanting?

These guys have a solution.
My favorite comes from Big Daddy Drew:

The Color Of Money

I spent two goddamn hours waiting for Paul Newman and Tom Cruise’s big hair to finally square off against one another. So what happens? They get ready to finally play. Newman says, “I’m back,” breaks, and then the picture freezes. Fuck you, Scorsese. Fuck you blind.

My ending: Felson beats Vince, then sodomizes him with the pool cue and the thingamajig you use to rest your cue on when you need to shoot over another ball.

Also: anyone who wears their first name on a t-shirt deserves to be beaten to death with the 11-ball.

Remember The Trust Fall?

We all had to do the Trust Fall sometime in our lives. If you have not, you must not have attended a Catholic High School Retreat or a Catholic College Orientation Day.

Anyway, Don has a new take on this staple of the growing up process.

If You Claim To Have A Party In Your Pants

Don’t be shocked if the cops arrive to investigate.

The Allambie Heights man, 39, was due to face Parramatta Local Court today.

Police responding to reports of a break-and-enter in inner-Sydney’s Surry Hills about 2.20am found the man outside a unit block they were investigating.

The man was searched, with police allegedly finding 828 ecstasy tablets, valued about $35,000, hidden down the front of his trousers.

Remember The Falkland Islands?

Well, oil was recently discovered there, and drilling will commence soon.

The move follows the conclusion of lengthy, but successful, tests by geologists and significant cash injections by two major oil companies which plan to bring rigs to the islands by as early as autumn.

The companies with licences to drill in the area met in Edinburgh on Friday to brief officials from the Falklands’ government on their progress, and preparations are under way in the South Atlantic to ensure that the islands can cope with sudden wealth.