Oh No! Dick Vitale In A Dress?!?

Sadly, the commercial at the beginning of this video is the best part of this video.

If You Live In Wisconsin And Own A Tractor

Just bring it to school!

If You Order A Giant Easter Egg From Italy

Just hope it gets to you in one piece.

Staff at Johnsons Coffee were left with egg on their faces when they discovered that the £300 egg they ordered had not survived the journey intact.

The 20kg egg was due to be displayed in Mount Charles outlets and raffled off to customers in a ‘guess the weight’ competition.

All monies raised were to go to Marie Curie Cancer Care in Forestside Shopping Centre, Belfast.

But disaster struck when the Italian importers alerted Johnsons Coffee that the egg would reach the province in pieces.

The chocolate egg, said the company, was “a victim of over- zealous handling during the transportation process”.

Today’s Explosives And Balconies Stories

Dorm Room Edition.

According to a search warrant affidavit, the officer two responded to Woods’ dorm room and “immediately noticed two capped metal pipes consistent with pipe bombs on the floor … plastic cups containing a white crystalline substance … third cup possibly gunpowder.”

A computer on a desk in the room apparently had a chemical recipe on the screen, police said, for HMDT — a highly explosive and unstable chemical compound.

“It’s really said. He’s a really smart kid and like, I’m looking at this stuff and I’m a science major and all the stuff that you read off can be found in our science laboratory,” Woods’ neighbor, Jenna Zhang, said.

Souza said Woods could have really hurt somebody.

Police told KCRA that Woods set off a small explosion from his balcony two hours before they were called to the scene.

And the moron on Spring Break Edition.

Officers patrolling the Oceanside Inn on South Atlantic Avenue in Daytona Beach Shores heard a loud explosion early Friday morning. Several witnesses said the explosion came from the sundeck, located on the second floor of the hotel.

When officers first arrived, they found three safety windows had been shattered, along with a metal light pole that had been destroyed. They also noticed metal and glass debris scattered across a 100-foot area.

“The wife, she grabbed the kids and took ‘em to the bathroom and I hit the deck and looked out the window to see where it was coming from,” said vacationer Terry Morris.

The Morris family, from Kansas, thought maybe someone was shooting at them as glass shattered inside their hotel room.

“At this point, I had no clue what was going on,” said vacationer Dustin Morris.

If Some Guy Wants You To Look Into His Eyes

Keep an eye on your money.

He waited until he got to a female bank clerk and, according to the video footage, appears to hypnotise her into handing over more than £600.

He then calmly walked out.

The cashier who was shown the video footage reportedly has no memory of the incident. She only realised what had happened when she saw the money missing.

Checks of CCTV cameras in the bank showed her being hypnotised by the man.

A Very Special Birthday

Today, my daughter turned three years old. I find it amazing to realize that she has already been with us for three years. Man, how time flies! Words cannot explain how much joy and fun she has brought to my wife, our friends, our relatives, our parents, and me.

Love,

Daddy.

If You Want To See Giant Marine Life In Unexpected Areas

Hang around Antarctica.

Going through the 30,000 specimens from the Ross Sea survey alone could take an additional two years, and any potentially new species must be sent to experts for confirmation.

Survey member Stefano Schiaparelli, a mollusk specialist at Italy’s National Antarctic Museum in Genoa, said researchers found many new species and “marine communities” never seen before.

“This is a new brick in the wall of Antarctic knowledge,” he said.

Schiaparelli said at least eight new mollusks and a range of new invertebrates had been found on sea mounts, or undersea mountains, off the northern Antarctic coast.

NIWA fisheries scientist Stu Hanchet said there were possibly eight new species among the “90-odd species of fish caught altogether.”

“That is exciting and that is something that will grab the world in terms of fish biology,” he told The Associated Press.

The researchers sampled every level of water from the surface to the sea floor up to 3,500 meters (11,550 feet) below — and all creatures in between.

One of the surprises was fields of half-meter- (20-inch-) high sea lilies stretching for hundreds of meters (yards) across the sea floor.

“Some of these big meadows of sea lilies I don’t think anybody has seen before,” Hanchet said.

Let’s Change A Light Bulb

Truck Driver Drags Vehicles With Him

The video is the best part of this story.

“As I was filming I turned around to see a large semi-trailer only several feet from me, pushing a car at right angles down the only lane that was still operating.

“Police were quick to notice the situation yelling out to the driver and having to chase it down to get it to stop.

“In all the truck pushed the car almost 100m down Centenary Drive before it stopped. “The driver was questioned for some time before being released and the driver of the car was examined by Ambulance Officers on scene.”

Footage shows the truck come past, pursued by the frantic officers on foot – and then reveals the car and its shocked occupant.

If You Want To Charge A Man With Sexual Assault

Just make sure he is still alive.

“That’s a relief for public safety,” Mesa County District Attorney Pete Hautzinger said when told Ridenour had died.

Attorneys handling a hearing Wednesday, however, apparently were unaware Ridenour was dead.

Public Defender Steve Colvin told Mesa County District Judge Brian Flynn on Wednesday that despite repeated requests, VA doctors have not produced written verification that Ridenour was healthy enough to stand trial.

Ridenour, a convicted sex offender, was arrested Oct. 21 after a nurse at the Palisade nursing home where he lived said he threatened to rape her, pulled her pants down and held onto her sleeve while she tried to escape.

Ridenour’s health deteriorated soon after the arrest to the point that doctors said he was too ill to complete an examination to determine whether he was competent to stand trial, attorneys have said.

During Wednesday’s hearing, Deputy District Attorney Drew Lauer said prosecutors needed written proof Ridenour was too ill to stand trial if charges were to be dropped.

Ridenour, a registered sex offender and a military veteran, was charged with attempted sexual assault through the use of force and attempted sexual assault through the use of force and false imprisonment.