Moronic Convergence

3/20/08.

Steeplechase Is Easy

Just ask this guy.

My feet began to feel like cinder blocks and the upcoming impediment looked as if was six-feet tall. With a teammate nipping at my heels, I sped up for the water jump.

The barriers were about as old as the track and once my spikes dug into the wood, it splintered. I didn’t have the necessary force to propel myself over the obstacle and went plunging into the water.

My teammate, who didn’t want to land on top of me, slowed up, but it was too late for him as well. He fell in the deep end, literally, submerging himself in the three-foot pit.

I powered through the rest of the race, finishing second in 10 minutes and 11 seconds. As soon as I toweled myself off, a friend came racing up to me — “You have got to see this. You just have to see this.”

So I walked over to where our team set up camp and looked at the screen of her digital camera. Sure enough, in plain sight, there it was — in all of its wet glory.

Thanks to this guy.

Today’s Tattoo Awesomeness

Father-Son edition.

If You Were Wondering Who The Florida Marlins Chose As Their Cheerleaders

Your wait is over.

If You See A Naked Woman Driving A Car

Just hope she isn’t over 60.

Shamokin Dam police say charges are pending against Susan Shuman of New Buffalo. Police didn’t immediately explain why she was driving naked at about 9 a.m. Thursday.

If You Make Lewd Gestures In Court

Don’t be surprised when you get arrested. The kicker? It was a lawyer who made the lewd gesture.

Adam Reposa, 33, was held in contempt of court by County-Court-at-Law Judge Jan Breland for his “intentional and contumacious conduct during the court’s review of the plea bargain offer to his client before jury trial.”

Reposa, who could not be reached for comment, “made a simulated masturbatory gesture with his hand while making eye contact with the court in response to an objection by the state to his interference with the court plea bargain inquiry,” Breland wrote in a judgment of criminal contempt of court filed March 11.

Breland, who also could not be reached, noted that she and prosecutor Richard Gentry witnessed the gesture and “acknowledged so on the record.”

So, will Reposa’s client have to pay his lawyer for this?

If You Think Young Men Can’t Understand Women

You are correct.

To unravel it all, Farris and her colleagues examined non-verbal communication in a group of 280 undergraduates, both men and women with an average age of 20 years old.

The students viewed images of women on a computer screen and had to categorize each as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. Each student reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted previously into one of the categories based on surveys completed by different groups of students.

Overall, women categorized more images correctly than men did. When it came to friendly gestures, men were more likely than women to interpret these to mean sexual interest.

More surprising, the researchers found guys were also confused by sexual cues. When images of gals meant to show allure flashed onto the screen, male students mistook the allure as amicable signals.

So ladies trying to brush off a guy at work or the gym may need to be, uh, more direct. Men in the study also had more trouble than women distinguishing between sadness and rejection.

This from the Science Journal “Duh”.

Guess What! There Is A Fantasy Fishing League!

And guess who is shilling for the league?

If You Try To Stow Away In A Truck To Go Somewhere

Just make sure you get in the correct truck.

Driver Tom Conlin, 60, taking aid to Kosovo for charity hopeandaiddirect.org.uk, said: “It was a huge surprise.

When we stopped the man climbed down, mumbled ‘very sorry’ and ran off.”