Today’s Moronic Convergence

3/19/08.

If Your Country Has An Ambassador That Actually Is A Cartoon Character

You must live in Japan.

Komura told the doll, with an unidentified person inside, that he hoped he would widely promote Japanese animated cartoons, or “anime.”

“Doraemon, I hope you will travel around the world as an anime ambassador to deepen people’s understanding of Japan so they will become friends with Japan,” Komura told the blue-and-white cat.

The appointment is part of Japan’s recent effort to harness the power of pop culture in diplomacy. Japan also created an International Manga Award last year under comic enthusiast former Foreign Minister Taro Aso, who likened it to a “Nobel Prize” for an artist working abroad.

Manga, the name used for Japanese-syle comic books, often combine complex stories with drawing styles that differ from their overseas superhero counterparts, particularly in their emphasis on cuteness.

If You Need Testicular Implants For Your Dog

This lady and her dog can show you the way.

Ms Martin insisted the solid silicone implants made little difference to Apollo.

“It was nothing to do with the dog, or if he’d miss them,” Ms Martin told The Cairns Post.

“I don’t think he knows the difference.

“It was just that I don’t like the look of it.”

But Ms Martin said the replacement testicles were about half the size of his original, real ones.

“You tell them the age and breed of dog but they obviously thought this kind of dog had smaller ones.”

If You Want To Know About Swedish Church Cocks

Today is your lucky day.

“It’s a lovely cock and we’re fortunate to have such a nice symbol on top of our old church,” said Anna-Maria Larsson, the parish vicar, who plans to mention the award during Easter services on Sunday.

The award has been handed out for the past 29 years in a contest co-sponsored by lifestyle magazine Land, and the ‘Society for the Promotion of Church Cocks’ (Kyrktuppsfrämjandet).

The society was founded in 1979 by journalist Bo Engelberg as a way to draw attention to the unique cultural artifacts, 600 of which can be found topping churches throughout Sweden.

The weathercock adorning Alnö Old Church was forged in 1746 and over the years “has become a beloved symbol for many residents of Alnö” according to a statement released with the announcement of the award on Wednesday.

Alnö’s weathercock beat out stiff competition from four other finalists for the 2008 award, collecting the most of the 1,000 votes cast by Lands’ readers.

If You Are Blind And Want To Play Soccer

You probably can’t read this story.

But, Germany is the place to go.

Blind football started in Brazil during the 1960s where there are now 80 teams around the world. The sport – which caters both for the blind and partially sighted – is played in other European countries such as England, France, Greece, Spain and Russia.

Blind football was only introduced here in May 2006 just before Germany hosted the last World Cup, but now less than two years later Germany will have an eight-team tournament when the league kicks off on March 29.

The Blindfootball-Bundesliga teams are scattered across Germany with teams in the capital Berlin, Hamburg-based St Pauli, Stuttgart, Mainz, Dortmund, Marburg, Essen and Chemnitz.

If You Want To Drink Champagne To Celebrate A Victory

Don’t do it in Britain.

East Fife director Dave Marshall told the BBC Scotland news website: “We took champagne with us on the bus, but we didn’t want to pre-empt the outcome, so we left it on the bus.

“Towards the end of the game, one of the guys took it off the bus and put it in the dressing-room.

“After the match, another of the guys brought the bottles out and began to celebrate Formula One style. One of the local bobbies took exception to it and said put it away or they would be arrested.

Nice to see the Nanny State is in full force.

If You Want To Re-Enact The Crucifixion On Good Friday

Take health precautions, because the experts warn us that crucifixion can be bad for your health.

Every Good Friday in the predominantly Roman Catholic Southeast Asian nation dozens of men re-enact the crucifixion of Jesus Christ by having themselves nailed to wooden crosses.

At the same time hundreds of others, mostly men, strip to the waist and whip themselves until their backs are cut and bloody as a way of atoning for their sins over the past year.

The Catholic church frowns upon the crucifixions and self-flagellations which have become a tourist attraction in a number of towns around the country.

The department of health issued a health warning advising people taking part in the rituals this Friday to have tetanus shots and to check the condition of the whip they will use before lashing their backs.

It warned that dirty whips could lead to tetanus and other infections.

If You Want An $8 Million Insurance Policy Taken Out On Your Nose

Here is how to do it.

“I thought it must be a horror to lose your smell,” Gort said. “It would mean that you cannot taste wine anymore. Tasting wine is something you do with your nose, not your mouth.”

Gort, 47, said his nose is essential for him to produce top quality wines at his Chateau de la Garde vineyard in the Bordeaux region of France.

The custom policy covers Gort for the loss of either his nose or his sense of smell and has some conditions for protecting his nose. Among other things, he is barred from riding a motorcycle or working as a knife thrower’s assistant or fire-breather.

And he can’t be a boxer. “I may not fight against Mike Tyson,” Gort said.

Jonathan Thomas, the lead underwriter for the Watkins Syndicate at the Lloyd’s insurance market, also took note of Gort’s long, curly beard in drafting the policy. A clause requires that the winemaker use only experienced barbers who will keep their razors steady near his nose.

“These insurance policies, they’re not all dry,” Thomas said. “There’s a bit of fun we can add with them as well.”

This is one of many Lloyd’s body part insurance policies. Lloyd’s reported movie icon Marlene Dietrich had her legs insured and Rolling Stone guitarist Keith Richards was paid when he injured his finger on tour in the 1990s.