If You Are On A Booze And Gambling Bender

Don’t do what this guy did.

Rudolph, 41, of 5 Caincrest Rd., York, Maine, admitted guilt to three related charges Monday in Portsmouth District Court. Currently serving a Mass. prison sentence for cocaine trafficking, he was brought to the local court for arraignment on charges of driving after revocation/second offense, reckless conduct and driving while intoxicated.

Prosecutor Corey MacDonald told the court that after Rudolph drove drunk and at a high rate of speed past the bus with children in the area, he swerved into the school parking lot and went inside, where staff immediately recognized he was impaired.

At the time of his arrest, said McDonald, Rudolph told officers he was on a 3-day drinking and gambling binge and had just consumed a “Mike’s Hard Lemonade.”

British Soldier Fights Off 150 Taliban Fighters Almost Singlehandedly

And he received his reward today.

Hields followed the trail of RPG-7 rocket-propelled grenades coming towards him and started firing grenades one at a time, trying to home in. “Then I switched to automatic fire,” he said. A grenade machine gun has a box with 32 grenade rounds. “I emptied a box onto that position and you could see all the dust and smoke flying about where they hit.

“After that no fire came back from that position and I moved on to the next one. One or two rounds until I got onto the target, and switch to automatic and empty the box.”

Realising that Hields was the main threat to them, the remaining Taliban fighters homed in on him with their RPG7s, Dushka heavy machineguns and Kalash-nikov rifles. Hields was undaunted and continued firing.

“I got through six boxes in about 15 minutes and we were winning the fight,” he said. “They started it. We were going to finish it.”

If You Think Your Party Was Awesome

This party has you beat.

When Robert and Julia Anscomb arrived home the next day they found their dog Bailey unconscious. He had overdosed on ecstasy tablets. Their dining room floor was covered in four inches of beer, their lap-tops, iPods and jewellery had been stolen and they found handcauffs and underwear in their eight-year-old daughter’s bedroom.

Mrs Anscomb told the Daily Mail : “We found underwear between the sheets and a pair of handcuffs.” “What were they thinking? This is a little girl’s room.”

In her own bedroom the scene was little different. The walls were covered in black marks and there was evidence of group sex.

“There were six people in there having sex at one time. We feel totally violated.”

Traces of cocaine, marijuana and alcohol bottles littered the house and the family estimates it will cost thousands of dollars to clean up.

But Gemma, who drank to excess and passed out at 7:30pm is not repentant. While she has gone into hiding she has managed to post comments about the party on her Bebo site.

Today’s Example Of Why Live Television Is Teh Awesome

from www.glumbert.com posted with vodpod

If You Were Wondering What Eliot Spitzer Is Up To

It seems the Governor of New York (D) is in the middle of a $5500.00 per hour prostitution ring.
Why is it I am not shocked that the article doesn’t mention his party affiliation?

If You Want To See What The Ukranian Army Is Up To

Here you go.
Thanks to Ace.

No Wonder Iraq Is Calmer

Because look who showed up.

A small cardboard shrine is dedicated to Norris at a U.S. military helicopter hub in Baghdad, and comments lauding the manliness and virility of the actor have been left on toilet walls across Iraq and even in neighboring Kuwait, soldiers say.

“The fastest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist,” reads one message at the shrine, which consists of a signed photo of the actor surrounded by similar statements.

“Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter,” reads one and “Chuck Norris divides by zero,” reads another

If You Are A Hunter

This guy has a better method than you do.

In a Feb. 21 interview with The Palm Beach Post, Kensing talked about his hobby in these terms: “The pilot’s pretty good. He gets right next to them. We spot them, he flies in sideways, glides and we shoot them.”

As a matter of fact, Kensing thinks it’s so much fun that he now wants his own chopper.

If The Hooker You Hire Steals Your Money

Calling the cops may not be a swift idea.

The woman arrived at his apartment late last month for the rendezvous. He agreed to pay her $150 to “have fun” and $20 to cover her gas.

“At some point into the fun,” the woman asked the man whether he had condoms, according to the report.

Upon hearing that he did not, she said she would get some from her car.

As the man waited for her to return, he looked out his window and realized the escort was driving away in a silver car.

Since that night, he has called her “numerous times” to get his money back. “But she has not answered or returned his calls,” the report said.

The man even called The Stranger to inform the newspaper of what happened.

The police officer who took the report told the man it is against the law in Seattle and the state of Washington to pay someone for sex.

If You Are A Missouri Lawmaker

Don’t you have more important things to do?

“We’ve got a state dinosaur, a state frog, a state reptile, a state flower, a state nut, but no one has given a thought to a company that’s been in Missouri for many, many years and is bringing prosperity to our state and manufacturing a product in our state that many people enjoy,” Dougherty said.

Dougherty’s bill was introduced last week but has not been referred to a House committee.

Budweiser has been made by St. Louis-based Anheuser-Busch Inc. since 1876. It’s now produced in 12 regional breweries, though samples are flown daily to St. Louis for taste-testing.

The brand is already the “Official International Beer” sponsor of the 2008 Beijing Olympics and will be the “Official Beer” of the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Plus, it’s an official sponsor for 26 professional baseball teams and 28 football teams.

In a statement released Friday, an executive for Anheuser-Busch said the legislation was “flattering” but not requested.

Missouri has 24 official symbols, most of which have been approved over the past 20 years. Lawmakers added four last year _ the game bird (bobwhite quail), invertebrate (crayfish), reptile (turtle) and grass (big bluestem).

But when it comes to state-sanctioned drinks, Missouri is behind the times. So far, 27 states have given official designation to their favorite beverages. Most have opted for one that is less intoxicating and builds strong bones _ milk.