If You See A Bunch Of Naked Guys Urinating On A Barroom Floor

You must be in Norway.

Cecilie Kleppe, age 29, told newspaper VG that the soldiers had been bothering several of the female patrons in the bar before they suddenly shouted “naked bar” and stripped off all their clothes.

“Some of them even started waving their private parts at the other guests,” Kleppe told VG. “Two of the Englishmen urinated on a fellow soldier who was lying on the floor. It was disgusting.”

If You Have A Thing For Women’s Bicycles

Keep it to yourself.

The breakthrough in the case came after a woman reported seeing the man carry away her bicycle and then start rubbing up against it.

The man was arrested last July and taken into custody.

The 36-year-old man has confessed to the crimes, explaining that he felt an overwhelming calm wash over him when he approached women’s bicycles and smelled the handlebars.

Things Must Be Boring In New Zealand

This guy has some real issues.

His counsel, Andrew McCormick, when urging the judge to continue the suppression of the man’s name and the details of the offence, said protecting the public interest by publishing the man’s name did not “weigh as heavily” as if the victim had been human.

“Any interest that the public have in this matter prior to sentencing must be one of curiosity,” said McCormick.

The man had a history of serious offences and publication could affect the man’s state of mind and that of his family.

If You Want To Go To The New DC Baseball Stadium

Don’t even think about parking near the stadium.

Those who don’t live in the neighborhood won’t be allowed to park legally on residential streets long enough to attend a game. New meters will limit parking time in the business districts.

The new stadium has two parking garages with a total capacity of 1,200 cars. The garages will be used by fans who buy the highest-priced seats and luxury suites. The Nationals are trying to secure more than 4,000 additional spaces near the stadium for sale to season ticket holders.

One Of The Few Times Where I Side With The Lawyers

And this involves a lawyer who won a ton of money on a slot machine in the British Virgin Islands.

Shortly after putting a $20 bill into one of the machines, Paulson said he hit the jackpot.

“Next thing I know there’s bells and whistles going off, the place is going crazy,” he said.

The machine indicated he’d won $5.15 million; but as the quarters began to pour from the machine, Paulson said a manager came over and shut off the machine.

“Whoever shut the machine off said, ‘It’s an obvious malfunction. If you look at the top of the machine, it says we’re not responsible for malfunction of the machines . There’s no bet,’” Paulson said, adding that the casino management did not explain how or why the malfunction occurred.

After being offered $100 and a free meal by the casino’s manager, Paulson asked if the casino would pick up the tab for his trip.

An Open Letter To My Dentist

Thanks for fixing my tooth yesterday. But, is it too much to ask that you use a little extra novacaine before drilling next time?

If You See A Guy Drinking Gasoline

Just hope he behaves better than this guy.

Jose Dias Ferreira, 35, was arrested at 10:32 p.m. after he ran into the middle of Waverley Street, stopping traffic and screaming at cars, police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany said.

Officer William Fuer was on patrol on Hollis Street when he saw a man, later identified as Ferreira, running around the AutoBrite parking lot, which is next to a Sunoco station.

“The (gas station) attendant said a nozzle fell on the ground and gas leaked out,” Shastany said. “This man got on the ground and started lapping it up.”

If You Want To Do A Mock Drill On Campus

Do better than these guys.

The Friday drill, in which a mock gunman threatened panicked students in the American foreign policy class with death, prompted university officials to apologize this week to Wang and offer counseling to faculty and students.

Anthony Brown, vice chancellor for student affairs, said the university was testing its response to shootings of the sort that have shaken campuses around the country. “The intent was not to frighten them but to test our system and also to test the response of the security that was on campus and the people that were notified,” Brown said.

Thanks to Knucklehead

Unlike Their Namesakes In Detroit, These Tigers Can Finish The Job

Probably The Most Deserving Lottery Winner Ever

This guy has served two tours in Iraq and will go back for a third.

Leyde couldn’t believe it when he scratched a winning ticket, but he still plans to return to Iraq.

“It was a commitment I made about three months ago. I’m going to stick to it,” Leyde said about his decision.

The sergeant says rents have gone sky high where he and his parents live in the Mount Spokane area of Washington and that, for now, he’s not going to spend any of the money.

Godspeed. Godspeed.
Thanks to Ace