Greatest Sayings Regarding Alcohol

Hey, I never claimed to be original in my work. This guy has the 25 greatest sayings involving alcohol, and they are a hoot.

If You Try To Open A Bank Account

At least use a monetary denomination that exists.

Alexander D. Smith, 31, was charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of forgery after he walked into the bank and tried to open an account by depositing a fake $1 million bill, said Aiken County Sheriff’s spokesman Lt. Michael Frank.

If that’s not bad enough, he also tried to pull off the most heinous act known to man:

The second forgery charge came after investigators learned Smith bought several cartons of cigarettes from a nearby grocery store with a stolen check, Frank said.

That’s it! Lock him up and throw away the key!

In Memory Of The Founder Of Gatorade

Dr. Robert Cade, age 80, passed away today.

If You Are A Deer Hunter In Pennsylvania

At least try to do better than these guys.

Spokesman Jerry Feaser also said Monday’s rainy weather made for challenging conditions. He said some hunters likely headed in early, while others stayed out despite the rain and fog.

If You Enjoy Awesome Speed Bumps

Then feast your eyes on this.

If You Enjoy Base Jumping

Then you should catch this video.

If You Want To Stick Your Head In A Pile Of Fire Ants

Then you are a moron.

If You Wish To See Men Dressed As Women Robbing A McDonald’s

Then go to Jonesboro, AR.

Restaurant employee Martez Brisco was working the drive-through window and he says there was an argument there. Brisco says when he ignored them tapping at the window, things got strange.

Police Lieutenant Trevor Tisby says the cross-dressers came inside and decided they wanted to fight with the restaurant crew.

Bill Conlin Is An Asshole

And he likes to brag about what he makes.

If You See An Iraqi “Wedding Party” That Looks Suspicious

You may be on to something