If You Hire A Substitute Teacher

Make sure she doesn’t strip in front of her class.

“We think it’s best she not return to substitute in the district,”

Gee, ya think?

Assjocks Attack The Military In Olympia, WA

I have been reluctant to talk about the recent events in Olympia, WA, because I did not know all the facts.

Well, I know now. These assjocks have been blocking convoys aimed at helping our servicefolks in Iraq, to the point where their children have become involved.

Look. Protest all you want. That’s your right. But when you attempt to hinder our servicemembers, that is sick. And the fact asshats like you get your children involved is sick and disgraceful.

But despair not! It seems the loyal readers of the winner of the Best Conservative Blog 2007 ™ have taken to the website and calendars run by these scumbags. The comments are superb.

 Oh, and to the jerkoffs in Olympia:

Get raped sideways with a pineapple.

If You Want To See Kick-Ass Footage From Outer Space

 Here it is. Apparently, some Japanese space agency took these photos.

If You Are Wondering About School Nurses

Take note of this story.

If You Are Worried About The Nutritional Content Of Your Pornographic Pasta

Never fear! The Government will take care of you.

Penis pasta, candy cuffs and chocolate body paint were all singled out for violating food labeling regulations for not containing a list of ingredients.

If You Plan On Robbing A Store

Don’t lose your pants. And don’t shoot yourself.

If You Are Driving In An Erratic Manner

You should have a better excuse than this guy.

When asked why his pants were unzipped, Phillips referred to a sexual act that had been taking place and said that he was heading home for more. The female in the car told the deputy that she didn’t know why Phillips’ pants were undone and she denied any sexual conduct taking place in the car.

If You Are A Member of SWAT

Bringing your equipment to a Hooters may not be the hottest idea.

If You Shoot A Moose And Lose Your Hunting License

Blaming your wife may not be a smooth move.

Hey! Let’s Mock Packers Fans!

And here’s a good reason why.